Maternity Monday: Still Cookin’

It’s funny being pregnant for the fourth time…I had to get onto Babycenter to find out how many weeks pregnant I am.  I could have told you to the day how many weeks I was pregnant with Vincenzo and now this time around it doesn’t seem to matter; I’ll have a baby in February regardless of exactly how pregnant I am today.

So for those who like numbers: 25 weeks.  I was kind of surprised myself!

I had an OB appointment this week: the usuals—weight, belly size, heartbeat, blood pressure.  A delicious glucose-testing drink that would have paired fabulously with a sharp gouda, if only we were able to take food with it.  I gained 7 pounds in October, which made me groan.  The OB looked at her notes and said it’s probably just blood volume.  The nurse practitioner looked at her notes and said it’s probably all the Twizzlers, root beer, and candy corn I mentioned ’ve been eating.  Either way, it puts me at the same weight now as when I delivered Vincenzo, which feels very uncool.  Then again, with V I was running up until my eighth month, when my feet got so painful I couldn’t even go for a walk.  My feet have already started doing that to me this pregnancy, so I’m fairly couch-bound.

And as if I didn’t know I was slacking this pregnancy, I got my blood test results this week.  “Your Hematocrit level is 33.1—normal is over 33.”  Wow, that’s like passing a class with a a D-. 

Oh, how I’ve changed.


1. The boys are fighting, fighting, fighting lately.  They fight over who gets to use which fork.  They fight over whether to call a car “teal” or “green.”  They fight over who gets to touch the diaper bag in the backseat of the car.  They even fight over who gets to unload the dishwasher or clean up the train set, the numbskulls.  I never thought I’d wish for nothing more than to unload the dishwasher all on my own but seriously, I think it’s the only thing on my Christmas list.

2. Conversation on the way to the bus:
Me (looking at the treetops): Oooo, it’s foggy outside.  Look at all that fog!
Rocco (looking at the treetops):  Me see foggy!  Me see foggy!
Me: Yup…lots of fog.
Rocco: Wibbit!  Wibbit!

3.  Here is a little picture I call “Proof We Had Crappy Weather this Summer.”  Vincenzo is the ghost pumpkin in the middle of the photo (with the dreamy look on its face).


4.  I hope no one noticed me taking a picture of this toddler’s behind at a Halloween party, but I wanted to show everyone why I don’t attempt to make my kids’ Halloween costumes.


If you can’t tell, she’s wearing an ordinary shirt and an ordinary skirt with a tube sock safety pinned to the back.  It’s about what I would come up with if I tried.

5.  I missed Thoughtless Thursday and you all probably noticed and cried to your mommas about it, so here you go:




Happy burfday!

It’s Kevin’s birthday today so the kids made cards.  I asked them what shape to make the cards and Rocco chose a car that he bedazzled…


…while Vincenzo went for the more traditional birthday lemon.                       _MG_1074

If your name is “AD,” here is your birthday message:


(He wanted my help to get the Zs facing the right direction, but as I was sitting across the table from him I kept getting them backwards too.  He was really pissed at me so I had to write that it was my fault to appease him.)

As for Rocco’s birthday wish:


Translation: I say happy birthday!  Happy birthday.  I get some ice cream!

The kids then opened Kevin’s presents, which were a pair of Puma shoes that didn’t fit and two chocolate bars that Rocco brought to the table, demanding to eat the “chocolate granola bars” right then and there.

Well, happy birthday anyway, dear.

Typical Day

Found the camera download cord!  Too bad I didn’t think to take picture until late in the day for this post.  Here’s what it’s like around here these days (this happened to be Tuesday of last week):

5:30: Rocco starts sobbing from his room, “Hug time…hug time…hug time…”  We tell him to go back to bed and he yells at us for a few minutes, but does.

6AM: Sounds of light saber coming from Vincenzo’s room.

6:30AM: Kids out of bed.  Ask for egg-in-the-hole with marinara sauce for breakfast.  Eat only the egg.

8AM: Kids ask for second breakfast.  Yogurt and pineapple this time.

8:30: Walk V to bus stop; go for walk with Rocco in stroller.  He talks the entire time about which cars have trailer hitches and which do not, and the impact that has on global economics.

10: Take Rocco to story time at library.

10:20: Rocco says loudly he wants to go home.  Says it over and over again, more loudly.  I try to whisper-talk him into staying.  He starts screaming.

10:25: Leave story time early.

10:26 to 11:00: Rocco has raging temper tantrum.  (Turns out he didn’t want to leave story time early after all.)

11: Rocco helps me make banana bread.  He helps by dumping two cups of flour on the floor.  While I get vacuum, he dances in the flour.  I attempt to vacuum but then remember that our Dyson—the indestructible, never-stops-sucking vacuum cleaner–doesn’t work. 

11:05: Look for broom.  Remember I’m not that kind of house keeper and I don’t own a broom.  Find other means to get flour off floor.

11:30: Call husband to make him feel like this is all his fault.

11:40: Vincenzo’s after-school play date is changed to a dinner play date at our house.  Wonder if other person’s kid will eat the butternut squash lasagna I had planned on making.

11:45: Eat a pound of candy corn.

12: Pick up Vincenzo from bus stop.

12:15: Lunch (quesadillas and oranges).  Vincenzo comes out of the bathroom asking for his “wipe, flush, wash” treat and promptly spills an entire bag of rock candy in the pantry.  I tell him he can eat anything he finds on floor.  He finds some really weird stuff there.

12:45: Everyone outside to play.  A moment of Zen in the sun. 


2: Rocco takes nap.  D and I eat warm banana bread; I sneak-drink a can of orange Fanta.

2:30: Make footprint ghosts.  Read books.


3: Rocco wakes up from nap an hour early.

3:01: Watch Mighty Machines.

3:31: Snack.  I don’t remember what.  Probably Cheetos, Twinkies, and Fanta.

4: Head to store to pick up spaghetti and meatballs so that Vincenzo’s friend is not afraid to come back to our house for dinner.

5: V’s friend shows up.  Play, eat, dump out every toy in house, etc.

6:30: I sneak in a shower while Kevin does battle with the kids.  He is Bananakin Skywalker and the kids are Darth Vader and his trusty cat.

7: Put Rocco to bed.  In living room, battle rages on.

8:30: Friend goes home.

8:45: V to bed.

8:46: Me and K to bed.

It was Monday.

I have a decent post to put up but I’ve lost my camera download cord and without pictures what am I?  A chicken without any lipstick.  All I’ve got is a lame-ass story about how I went to pick up our new babysitter this week (we’ve only used her once) and I was so excited that I recognized her standing outside a building waving at me…


…that I turned too sharply out of my parking spot and smashed up the car next to me.


I left a note with my number and about 20 apologies on the car’s windshield and then didn’t answer the phone all day because some people get really really cranky about their cars being smashed up and I would not like to talk to one of those people.  (In fact, once when a lady hit me in the parking lot she got out of her car and yelled at me for ten minutes because I didn’t honk to let her know she was about to hit me.)

So.  Kevin finally talked to the girl later and she was really nice and kept thanking me for leaving a note.  I felt a little guilty, like maybe I wouldn’t have left a note if my brand new babysitter hadn’t been standing there watching the whole thing and then asking me if I wanted to borrow a pen and piece of paper so I could leave a note.

All I know is that babysitting has gotten REALLY expensive lately.  $12 an hour plus maybe $500 of car repairs equals maybe we’ll just stay home next time.

Almost funny

1. Rocco saw me and Vincenzo licking some envelopes closed.  He came running over, all excited, started picking envelopes up and licking them all over.  He was clearly excited we were finally playing a game he understood.

2. Vincenzo went to his play kitchen set, filled up a toy cup with water, then pretended to do a bunch of things to it.  He brought it up to me saying, “Here, Mom.  It’s for you.”  I took a sip and said, “Ooooo, it’s delicious.  What is it?”  He gave me a funny look and answered, “Water.”

3. Every year after Halloween I buy a couple decorations on clearance and throw them into my Halloween boxes.  I forget I’ve done it every October and it feels like someone has sent me a gift when I get down the box and see an unopened black shower curtain with a spider on it, for example—still with the price tag of $4.99.  This year’s big surprise was matching shirts for the boys (only $2.97!).


I guess in my I’m-getting-an-awesome-deal frenzy, I didn’t notice the pink label in the back of Rocco’s shirt, or the puckering going on where the sleeves are attached at the shoulders.


Who knew all it takes is a few stitches on the sleeves to transform your sweet little boy into a darling little girl?

More from the farm

So we go to this same farm that we visited last weekend every year, and a couple years ago we managed to snag a decent self-portrait of our family:


We thought we’d try to recreate it this year.

Attempt #1:


Attempt #2:


Attempt #3:


Either Kevin’s arms have gotten shorter or things have just gotten a little more crowded around here.  At any rate, we decided to have someone else take the picture for us instead.


In the end we decided the best way to take a family self-portrait is to get pumpkin stand-ins for all but one family member at a time.



Happy autumn-ing everyone!

Fall has fallen!

We went to a farm this weekend to ring in the fall.  I wanted to go to about 8 farms but my husband is a man of moderation so he siphoned all the gas out of the cars the minute we got back and I had to settle for just one.  Wanna see?

There were about 1,000 scarecrows there, but I think the only thing they were good at scaring was humans.  They ranged from creepy to bizarre.

Here is one entangled in a fence:


One impaled on a fence:


One doing something obscene to a fence:


And one who apparently had enough of the fences:


Anyway.  This is what happens when you ask 2 kids who never touch each other to give each other a hug for a picture:


And here you see Rocco’s unbridled joy on the train ride:


And in the hay pit:


And on the flying pumpkins:


And sitting on the old-fashioned tractor:


He really wears his emotions on his sleeve.  Well, his single emotion anyway.

Oh well; at least two of us had a good time!


Maternity Monday: Weird pregnancy

Here is a list of what’s weird when I’m pregnant:

1. I can’t STAND the smell of pasta boiling, yet I don’t even notice the smell of boiling eggs.
2. When I’m feeling nauseous, nothing settles my stomach like an egg salad sandwich.  Seriously, an EGG SALAD sandwich to cure the nausea.
3. I can’t stand the smell of my husband but would love to cuddle up with one of those tar-covered telephone poles. I’d eat one whole if I knew where to start.
4. I hate hate HATE the smell of clean dishes but am totally okay with a freshly opened can of tuna fish.
5.  Love vinegar and stinky cheeses; hate chocolate
6.  Eat tons of ketchup; can’t keep marinara down

I’ve moved on from my American cheese + Fanta diet to a Swedish Fish + root beer diet.  Sometimes late at night, I hear my teeth crying.