By the way, this post has nothing to do with Mary Poppins. It’s about Motherhood and the Sound of Music, but that just doesn’t sound as nice, now does it?
Way back in my 20s I thought parenting would be much like the Sound of Music. I would be a carefree, energetic young fraulein skipping all over town with my children and bursting into songs.
And sometimes, that does happen. We have sung spontaneous family musicals in the car that are not Roger and Hammestein worthy, but maybe SNL worthy.
Only sometimes it’s not at all like The Sound of Music. It’s more like Cats, only if Cats were really called Cats and Dogs, only if Cats and Dogs were really called Ferile Cats and Wild Dogs. It’s not always child vs. child in our house, either. I butt heads with the kids myself just as much as they butt heads with each other.
Of course, there are goats in The Sound of Music…but then, they don’t seem like the head-butting type.
All day we have conversations like this:
R: Mom, can I have that sleeve thing to wear?
Me: Not until we find the other tattoo sleeve because when we have just one either you or Leo screams about it.
R: It’s not called a tattoo sleeve.
Me: Yes it is.
R: No it’s not!
Me: Rocco, it’s a tattoo sleeve.
R: No! You’re wrong, Mom. It is not called that!
Me: Rocco, I’m 38 years old, I have both a college education and a master’s degree in the area of the English language, and on top of it all I typed “tattoo sleeve” into Amazon the other day so I could maybe order another sleeve so you two would stop fighting about these ones, and when I typed in the words “tattoo sleeve,” a bunch of pictures of these showed up. IT’S CALLED A TATTOO SLEEVE.
R: No it isn’t.
(Picture of said tattoo sleeve, being worn in place of pants):
All day long. Conversations that I hate myself for having. What would Fraulein Maria have done? Perhaps a song to lighten the mood? What rhymes with IT’S CALLED A FRIGGIN’ TATTOO SLEEVE?!
I answer the same questions over and over again. Mom, are you hungry Mom? Is it cereal Wednesday? Do I have speech lesson today? Each of these questions asked and answered at least 10 times consecutively until the asker (in this case Leo) either accepts my answer (rarely) or falls to the ground, crying, “Why? Whhyyyy?” Then after a fifteen minute grace period, the question is asked again.
There’s also a lot of me saying, “Please stop asking that question.”
To which Leo responds, “Is it cereal Wednesday?”
Me: No, Leo. It’s still Tuesday.
Leo: And is it also Wednesday?
So anyway parenting is not always how I imagined it.
Of course, we are going to start a remodel in a couple months, and these curtains are going to go:
Do you think if I just repurpose the curtains into three pairs of lederhosen, there might still be hope for us?
Bah. Who am I kidding? You all have been reading this blog long enough—you know that no one around here ever even wears pants.
WHAT’S COOKIN’ 2NITE:
Chicken and stuffing
Baked sweet potatoes
Triple chocolate brownies