End of year teacher gifts

I took the super easy route for end-of-year teacher gifts this year and did not have my kids make something by hand (i.e. me make something by hand while they watch for the first 30 seconds and then asking if they could play video games instead).  I bought some succulent gardens at Costco ($9!), made a couple tags, and BOOM!

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Of course, when Kevin saw the gifts and their tags he felt I really missed out on some linguistic opportunities.  His ideas:

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I would pay any amount of money to see these last two get pinned on Pinterest and taken seriously!

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I Spy…

And now for a round of Leo’s favorite game, I Spy:

I spy with my little eye something that is BROWN.  Can you guess what it is?

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Yup.  I don’t know how he did it (I stepped out of the bathroom to get some cakes out of the oven), but there it is.  For those who didn’t guess, it’s poop.  Five pieces of poop, to be precise.  And it was not plucked out of the bathtub and laid there…it was actually laid there.

I’ve really got to buy one of these signs for our bathroom:

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Sandwich time starts now, Kevin

Kevin sent me this link to a sweet couple that just got engaged.  The boy told the girl he would marry her after she made him 300 sandwiches but couldn’t wait and popped the question at 256.  You can read the whole thing here.

My first reaction was, “Awwwwww.”  My second, of course, was to tell Kevin I have definitely made him 300 sandwiches in the past few years and where’s my new ring?  I actually cannot write his response in my blog, it was so totally inappropriate.  Maybe a couple of you sickos with perverted imaginations can imagine what he said, but probably not.

Anyway, today I handed Kevin some Chinese chicken salad and an orange-cranberry scone I had made him for his lunch.  He said, “It’s okay…but it’s no sandwich.”

I told him it was a deconstructed sandwich and he was supposed to stuff the scone with the Chinese chicken salad just before serving.

Here it is: Kevin’s Magnificent Orange Cranberry Apple Scone Chinese Chicken Sandwich:

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Kitty cat wants to play?  GAME ON.

A few funnies

1. Leo, getting up from table: Drink milk long time.
Me: Thank you, little Wampanoag.

2. Me, filling Kevin in on “his” vegetable garden*: Something is eating your kale.
Vincenzo to Kevin: You have a tail?
Kevin: Not anymore…something ate my tail.

3. The note I put in Vincenzo’s lunch yesterday:

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4. My horse joke, another original:
Q: What did the horse say to Sarah Jessica Parker?
A: Why the long face?

5. It was “Z” day at preschool this week, so Rocco and I made a batch of cookies:

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Rocco kept saying, “It’s okay that we had to make N cookies instead…”  I guess he was standing at the other end of the tray.

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Anyway, happy sideways N week, everyone!

*I actually do all the work in the vegetable garden but I call it “Kevin’s vegetable garden” so I don’t have to get so raging mad when the slugs, birds, rabbits, and deer eat every last leaf and pea off of our plants.  It’s so much better this way!

What happens in Henderson…

I’ve been lying to all my blog readers for about as long as I’ve had this blog.  I have written many times about my sister who lives in Vegas—my “Vegas sister.”  It’s a lie.  I do not have a sister who lives in Vegas.  I have a sister who lives just east of Vegas in a city called Henderson.

Just thought I’d clear that up so that when I tell you all I went down to Vegas last weekend you don’t get all excited and say, “OMG, where did you stay?  Did you see any shows?”  People don’t ask you those same questions when you go to Henderson, and we went to Henderson.

What we saw in Henderson was infinitely better than anything Vegas has to offer.  It was my sister’s itty bitty newborn baby, Shelby, and I was in photography heaven, having a newborn to myself for three days and a relaxed mother who didn’t mind that I kept waking up her sleeping baby to adjust her hands to get the perfect shot.  But!  I will not post those pictures here because I’m waiting for my “Vegas sister” (now in quotes!) to send her birth announcements.  You’ll get the photos here…eventually.  In the meantime, here are a bunch of selfies I took that are almost  as good as newborn baby photos, and by almost I mean, of course, not at all.

Shuttle bus selfie:

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Poolside selfie:

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Dazed husband selfie:

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Driving with Kevin selfie:

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Giant cupcake selfie:

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Wounded bird selfie (Kevin nursed it back to life and it flew away shortly after):

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Shelby selfie:

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Flying home selfie:

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As you can see, Henderson looks a lot less like Vegas and a lot more like Mr. and Mrs. Mouthy.  You should go there—you’d love it!