Christmas ‘014

My favorite conversation on Christmas morning:

Me: Let’s take showers before we open presents.
Vincenzo: But I just took one a few days ago!
Rocco: Yeah, and I already took one tomorrow!

How our tree looked on Christmas morning:

It’s hard to tell, but that is a 15-foot-long plush boa constrictor wrapped around it.  One of us was a little irritated with Santa about that.  The others embraced it—or more accurately were embraced by it.

The favorite gift I received is also my least favorite gift.

It’s a gravy boat.  Har har.  It is equal parts awesome and despicable.

The favorite gift I gave?  It was these shirts that I gave to my parents and siblings.  We are from Bothell, and the shirt has both the name of our hometown on it as well as our hometown city’s slogan:

In fact when you enter MrsMouthy’s hometown of Bothell, you find a sign with this exact writing on it.  Only someone always manages to vandalize the sign, so on Christmas Day, after my family all saw their shirts I took a roll of duct tape and did the same thing to them:

One last gift, from Leo, who thinks he is Rasta, to Grammy:

Christmas is just becoming a string of puns and practical jokes for me. 

I think I’ve been blogging too long.

WHAT’S COOKIN’ 2NITE:
Ham and Swiss quiche
Sweet and sour salad with broccoli and ramen
Tiramisu

Christmas Letters

My kids got it in their heads to write Santa letters today.  Leo asked for a space car and told Santa he will leave him cookies but also hinted that he might eat Santa’s cookies himself.  Then he told me to sign it, “Love, Rasta.”

Rocco asked for a very specific part to a train set that has a pond with a bridge over it and fish floating in the pond.

And Vincenzo?  He wrote, “I don’t need many presents.  I just hope I get a sapphire pin.  I also want time with my friends.  Hopefully this isn’t too much.”

I can’t tell if he is sincerely sweet or if he is playing the Jewish Mother card.  But seeing as Christmas is a Christian holiday, I have to go with the sincerely sweet option.

Anyway, up until yesterday when anyone asked the boys what they wanted from Santa, their answers were, respectively, “I don’t know,” and, “I’m not sure.”  Except Leo—he wanted a Space Gun.

Thus, it has been a busy day for MrsMouthy, who, up until today, had all her shopping done three weeks ago.

Gingeridiculous

The gingerbread houses.  They are terribly decorated, made more for taste than looks, decorations being picked off and eaten before they are finished, no plans or bigger visions in mind.  And yet…there is something incredibly beautiful in their haphazardness.

This year I jokingly mentioned turning a gummy-o into a tire swing.  It was taken as a challenge.

As this picture clearly shows, way more time was dedicated to the construction of the tire swing than, say any other part of the house.

’Here’s the classic tire-swing-hanging-from-the-roof scenario:

Somewhere over the course of the year I had acquired a rather large marzipan carrot.  While I wasn’t quite sure what to do with it in my culinary endeavors, Rocco didn’t have any doubts:

And ten minutes later what would one expect but:

It’s getting pretty bad when the kids aren’t even attempting to hide the fact that the only reason they are decorating these is to eat them.  Case in point: the piece of licorice that makes having a carrot on your roof look natural in comparison:

And now, a few more houses for you to marvel at and to wonder: what is it about candy, frosting, and gingerbread that makes your eyes keep coming back to these pictures for more?

WHAT’S COOKIN’ 2NITE:
Pear, blue cheese, and balsamic panini
Roasted red pepper and tomato soup
Fresh vegetables
Mocha cake pops

SOMEBODY STOP ME

Do you miss my longer, wordy, snarkier posts?  Too bad.  Mostly pictures today—but maybe by the end you’ll see why I don’t have time to write more than this lousy explanation for why I haven’t been writing many blog posts.

I hosted our annual gingerbread houses decorating day (which involved baking and building ten houses ahead of time):

…and helped the boys make jeweled serving spoons/forks for some of the teachers:

…and helped them make these stick Christmas trees for the other teachers:

…and helped them paint three of these babies for Christmas presents:

…and helped Vincenzo make five sets of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle ornaments for his student market:

…and helped the boys make two of these for Christmas presents:

…and finished round one of holiday baking and delivering:

…and somehow also I have also gotten the boys to two martial arts lessons a week, two basketball practices, three speech therapy appointments, one family swimming lesson, and weekly visits to Great Grandpa and Great Aunt Helen.

And just to be mean:

Done.

I feel crazy.  I feel invincible!  I also feel like I must be incredibly irritating to a lot of people right now. 

But most of all I am irritating to myself.  I am so irritated!  Can Christmas just be over so I can go back to making fun of myself?  I like me so much better that way.

WHAT’S COOKIN’ 2NITE:
Pork tenderloin with plum sauce
Macaroni and cheese
Fresh fruits/vegetables
Christmas cookies

Funnies

1. V, at dinner: Mom, could you make ozone for us this week?

(He meant orzo.)

2. R, watching a basketball game: Which team are we voting for?
K: The black team.
R: Is that the one that’s red and white?

3. Rocco, coming out of his bedroom one morning: Mom, there’s something brown all over my sheets but I know it’s not poop.
Kevin, going in to investigate: It’s not poop.  It’s actually blood.
Me: Oh.  Whew! 

4. Leo at prayer time: Please help me have money to buy wocketship.
Vincenzo: Leo, you already have money to buy a rocketship.  You just don’t have enough money.

5. Rocco: We should have unfortunate cookies more often.

WHAT’S COOKIN’ 2NITE:
Stir fried soba noodles with tofu
Miso soup

Rocco is the only thing I blog about anymore

1. Rocco: Mom, when I was born there were no tutus, right?

2. Rocco: How many weeks have I been in since I was born?

3. Rocco: Mom, can I buy this Hot Wheels car?
Me: No.  You don’t have any money.
Rocco: We can just take some out of my college account!

4. Rocco: Leo, I can’t understand you!  Your words are all blurry!

WHAT’S COOKIN’ 2NITE:
Dill salmon
Asparagus with hollandaise sauce
Roasted potatoes

Or maybe just hot dogs.

Mornings here

It’s 9:30.  So far today I…

Gave two kids baths

Met with an architect

Fed four people breakfast

Brought kids to bus stop

Brought remaining kids to preschool

Took last child home only to notice that one kid had left his backpack there

Delivered backpack to school

Helped some guy push his car a block down the road so he could compression start it

Fulfilled remaining kid’s request to stop at the store to buy “lucky mushrooms,” whatever those are

Stopped at Starbucks

Went home to feed last kid his second breakfast

Put him to bed

And now I myself

am going

to bed.

WHAT’S COOKIN’ 2NITE:
Cheese souffle
Fried chicken drumsticks
Roasted squash
Pizelles