More from Coronaville

Man, Coronaville has really gone downhill. It was all fun and games until SOMEONE CLOSED SCHOOLS FOR 6 WEEKS.

I don’t feel the panic, yet I  am living the life of someone who is panicking. It feels crazy to be taking such extreme measures when there are only a couple hundred cases in the state.

But then, maybe there are only a couple hundred cases in the state because we are taking extreme measures?

At Kevin’s yoga class this morning, the teacher put on a cover of “I Wanna Hold Your Hand” and everyone spontaneously started singing along. I said maybe she should have played a cover of “Don’t Stand so Close to Me.”

The problem is I’m a person who assumes nothing bad will happen until it does. Like, I figured we could leave our garage door open because who would steal something in our safe neighborhood? Until someone stole a bike right out of it. I’m the kind who didn’t see the need for shower shoes at the gym until I got a plantar’s wart. (Gross but true.) I’m the kind who saw no reason to stock up on toilet paper until all the stores were sold out of it. Seriously, the world is ending and all people think is, “TP! And lots of it!”

I’m trying to be good. My family and I dutifully stay inside for as long as we can, until I decide it would be best for everyone’s health if I go to the gym. I venture onto the roads, expecting to be the only one out. Expecting it to look like an episode from The Last Man on Earth. But lo! What is this?  Roads full of cars and coffee shops full of regulars and the gym full of people?! I start wondering–am I the only numbskull following the quarantine?  Is everyone else drinking boba tea and eating bubble waffles at the mall? My FOMO starts wigging out. Everything is canceled or closed, so I’m not missing anything, right? Then why does it look like everyone is out having a jolly old time? Is it just me? Is that a bubble waffle you’re eating?

Normally I’d be thrilled to have 6 extra weeks to just hang with my family, but it’s not the same when all our fun is taken away. No museums, no zoos, no malls or movies, no going out to lunch, no parks or pools, no having 250 friends over for dinner. I never realized how little this stay-at-home-mom actually stays at home. I miss all my haunts. I miss all my humans.

I home schooled the boys yesterday. Rocco woke up super excited, made himself a schedule, pounded through it, then asked what else he could do. Leo grumped a bit but got his work done. Vincenzo gave me a look that burned my eyebrows right off, then stomped off to his room. I’m afraid to even knock. Next week I think we’ll just do an in-depth study of 80s movies.

In the meantime, I will sit here not panicking while the world ends and the TP supplies run dangerously low. I will sit here and wait for someone to yell, “Olly olly oxen free!” and then I will get myself to the nearest boba kiosk, order an extra large, drink it down and wonder if it was just me.

Chicken with cranberry pecan stuffing
Mashed potatoes
Chocolate hazelnut macarons

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