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An Even Five

November 20, 2014

1. Rocco: Can you please pass me some agent pear?
Me: Sure.  Just make sure you don’t ask anyone to pass you the agent orange, okay?

(He meant “Asian pear.”)

2. Rocco: How long until we’ll be at school?
Me: 7 minutes.
R: But how many seconds?
Me: 420 seconds, but it doesn’t make sense to talk about it in terms of seconds.  Usually when we go somewhere we ask how many minutes or hours it will take.
R: Okay, then how many hours until we get to school?

3. Rocco: When you put “cracker” and “apple” together you get “crapple!”

4. While browsing the Christmas toy catalogs…

R: Ooooo, a camera!
V: That’s not a camera, that’s a telescope.
R: Ooooo, a telescope!  [circles it]
V: Rocco, you circled three telescopes!
R: Because that’s just what I wanted!

5. More toy catalogues…

R: Look at this one!
V: Yeah, do you know what it is?
R: No.  Do you?
V: No.  But let’s circle it—we want one!

WHAT’S COOKIN’ 2NITE:
Oaxacan tacos
Cumin black beans
Glazed carrots
Chocolate chip cookies

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Used Leo Sale

November 16, 2014

Leo has a scab on his elbow from who knows what.  I told him not to pick at it because  blood might start coming out.
Leo added, “And candy will come out!”

He’s our little human pinata, and you better stock up on candy because Kevin snapped this picture of him at martial arts the other night:

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Actually, I noticed Kevin hangs out with Leo a lot by this sign while waiting out Vincenzo and Rocco’s capoeira lessons.

If you do adopt Leo you should know that it took him a couple days to adjust to daylight savings time, and when he finally did adjust he adjusted backwards.  He now wakes up between 4 and 5AM.

You will put him back to bed again and again but each time you do, he will return to your bed and climb over your partner, saying, “Excuse us,” and tell you it’s snuggle time.  He will do this over again until you cannot resist him any longer.  As soon as you give into snuggle time he will jump up and say, “Let’s play!”

Some cute, funny, and/or alarming things will happen during the morning.  You won’t remember any of them because you have already been awake for five hours before it’s even breakfast time. 

After breakfast Leo will take a luxurious four hour nap while you continue to stay awake because you have other children and laundry to tend to.  You will neatly fold and stack the other children, feed the laundry a nutritious lunch and attempt to nap while also playing a game of Sorry with your other children and/or laundry.

When Leo wakes up, he will do this for a half an hour and keep telling you, “The house is spinning!”

(Don’t try to tell him his undies are on backwards.  He doesn’t take well to constructive criticism.)

After the half hour of spinning he will be under the impression that he is Grammy’s dog, Rasta—“Rasta Pasta” as she is affectionately called.

Dinnertime will come around.  Make sure Leo sits at his special place.

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Dessert time will come around and suddenly:

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After dinner he will get ready for bed.  Here’s how he spits out his toothpaste.  Do not attempt to help him or even offer him help.  Just trust me on this one.

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Make sure to put him to bed like this.

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Lift up Ice Bat to give him one last goodnight kiss, then immediately comply when he yells, “PUT THE ROOF BACK ON!”

Put the roof back on, assure him that he is, indeed, a big dog and that you love him with all your heart and with every drop of your being.

You know what?  I think I’m taking him off the market after all.  This is mine Leo.

WHAT’S COOKIN’ 2NITE:
Chicken with cranberry pecan stuffing
Some kind of sweet potatoes
Salad with oranges, pepitas, and feta
Brownies and ice cream

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Here is…

November 6, 2014

Here is Kevin at Rocco’s open house this year.  (Here is also the reason no one ever asks us to be in charge of anything at these open houses):

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Here is LBSROCCO’S guess about the weight of a pumpkin. 

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Here is what Leo wore to the library this week:

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Here is Leo minutes after being given a sticker by a cashier:

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Here is a sign I saw at a coffee shop that made me very uncomfortable:

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Here is a 20-layer chocolate crepe cake that just would not mind:

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Here is that same cake after I “had my way” with it:

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Here is how I found Skelly yesterday:

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Here is our kitchen drawer after I spent an hour emptying it out, vacuuming it, scrubbing it, and neatly organizing it:

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Here is a picture I am by no means allowed to explain or blog about under any circumstances, even though it would probably be the best blog post you ever read:

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WHAT’S COOKIN’ 2NITE:
Nothing
with a Side of Nothing
and Nothing for dessert

Sigh, I am busy.  Too, too darn busy.

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Halloween II

October 31, 2014

I am not a costume maker.  It is the one thing I give myself a break on.  I might individually label drinking straws for a birthday party or carve 100 baby carrots to look like dragon claws, but when it comes to costumes I give myself a break and just buy the darn things.

This year, unfortunately, my boys wanted to be Minecraft characters and, as I keep whining about, Minecraft has not sold themselves out to every possible merchandising opportunity out there, which makes them a scumbag company in my book.  It means I had to make my boys’ costumes this year.

It took forever.

And then it took forever again when I finally faced the fact that it was definitely going to rain on Halloween and I had to cover every inch of these masks with clear contact paper or they would return from trick-or-treating wearing plain boxes on their heads.  There is a very fine line between being a Creeper and being a kid with a box on his head.

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The boys are: a tamed wolf, a Creeper, and a zombie.

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Actually, Rocco really went more as a sexy creeper, as this next picture demonstrates.

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Anyway, on no other night of the year would I put a box with two tiny eyeholes in it on my young children’s heads and tell them to walk around the neighborhood on a pitch black, rainy night.

Maybe Halloween isn’t the miracle holiday I made it out to be earlier this week?

Nah.  It totally is.

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Need advice—quick!

October 30, 2014

Okay, readers, we are getting close to the finish line with the Big Boy room.  Here’s what we’ve got so far:

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Okay, so it doesn’t look like much but this represents a solid month of weekends spent painting, skim coating, repainting, trimming, buying, assembling, touch-up painting, and moving of stuff from one room to another.  Not to mention the hour it takes me to clear things off the bed and desk to actually take these pictures!

But I need some advice on the desk area.  We bought a bunch of magnetic boards to hang above it and will buy some white cabinets to hang above those.  Here’s the general idea:

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The question is this: do we leave the magnetic boards silver, as they are, or should I cover them with lime green cloth?  Here’s the general idea (the board will be centered over the desk):

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Here’s a really crappy Photoshop attempt to show about what it will look like green, though I would do more of a chartruse than a grass green:

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What do you think?

WHAT’S COOKIN’ 2NITE:
Chicken stew in pumpkin bowls
White chocolate seckel pears

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Pumpkin Farm

October 23, 2014

It was Pumpkin farm weekend for the MrsMouthies!  Here are a few of our top moments:

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Actually, Vincenzo’s glam shot looked like this—we’ve been too busy to get him a haircut.

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But who needs haircuts when you have Photoshop?  Anyway, to continue…

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The kids played in the hay, went in the bouncy houses, ate kettle korn, looked at the animals, rode the train and canoes and roller coaster, putted around in the old timey cars…but the one thing they didn’t have time to do at the pumpkin farm was ride the wagon out to the field to pick pumpkins.  Oops.

To end on a funny note, here is my second favorite picture from the pumpkin farm:

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I love how he tilted his head just so.

…and my favorite picture of the day, from my mom’s collection:

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Awkward.

WHAT’S COOKIN’ 2NITE:
Chili
Corn bread
Steamed broccoli
Pumpkin pie

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An Eye for an Eye

October 20, 2014

I used to have a cat. I loved him more than I loved my children. Of course, I had no children at the time, and lucky for them.

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This fluff ball turned grew into one of those super silky, soft cats who flopped like a rag when you picked him up and who felt like he was weightless when he jumped onto your lap. His name was Rocky.

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At Christmas time we’d send out cards with his pictures on it. In summer I’d put him on a leash and try to walk him. When he got his man-cat parts chopped we even threw him a Ball Voyage party.

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(One of the food tags from the party)

My SIL found a little replica of Rocky that she gave us.  We named him Bizarro Rocky.

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Bizarro Rocky was present at the birth of our first son, naturally.

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Sadly, the real Rocky died of a lung infection when he was just four years old. Around that time, a very mangy version of Rocky showed up in the neighborhood—he was ratty, his tail looked half-eaten, and he seemed to be missing an eye. We named him Pirate Rocky.  It is comforting, somehow, to see Pirate Rocky roaming the neighborhood from time to time.

The other day the boys were downstairs playing and yelling at each other when the yelling got louder than usual and turned to all STOP! LEO! NO! NO LEO! LEEEOOOO! OH NO NOW YOU BROKE IT!

Then Rocco* came up the stairs carrying this:

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(Technically he was just carrying the thing on my hand—not my actual hand.)

Apparently Leo had been swinging Bizarro around by his tail until Bizarro whacked a wall and lost an eye and became…

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Pirate Rocky!

But as they say, one cat’s eye is another man’s treasure and I have taken to wearing the eye around myself in a version of me I call Bizarro Mommy.

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Bizarro Mommy gets to do anything she wants, any way she wants.  I’m sure you haven’t seen the last of her here.

*I should point out here that we did not, in fact, name our son after our cat.  Rocco was named after his father, whose middle name is Rocco, and his name was chosen because Kevin’s dad really liked the Rocky movies.

WHAT’S COOKIN’ 2NITE:
Chicken and dumplings
Salad with roasted pumpkin, pepitas, and goat cheese
Fruit
Sugar cookies

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