Design our deck!

So we’re getting a new deck installed this month (woot woot!) and this company installs a lit-up panel anywhere we want on the deck with any picture we want in it.  For example:

Here are the ideas we’ve come up with, based on our family’s passions/interests:

Chuck Norris’ beard
A zombie
An energy-efficient, high speed dishwasher
A big messy fight
A photo of what would be below the square if it were see-through
My boobs (Rocco can’t talk, but we’re pretty sure that’s what his vote would be.)  (Kevin’s too.)
A chia pet**
Kevin’s eyebrows and/or Charlie Sheen
This picture of Vincenzo:

So…are we on the right track?  Which should it be?  Or is there a better idea we haven’t thought of?

WHAT’S COOKIN’ 2NITE:
Grilled pear and blue cheese sandwiches
Silky leek and red wine soup

**Nicole, Jenn, and Melinda, that one’s for you!

Kevin’s Eyebrows: The Real Story

I feel like I could have done that post about Kevin’s eyebrow wax a little better.  So here it is, the right way:

Kevin’s “before” picture

(I told him to smile but he said no one ever smiles in “before” pictures.)

Kevin browsed through some magazines while waiting for his appointment, trying to choose which eyebrows would look best on him.  He chose these ones.

 

 

Mm-hm.  I, however, picked out these ones for him:

 
Not only are they more age-appropriate for him, but with these eyebrows he could also take my look of admonishment with him wherever he goes.

 

Enter: comic relief:

Now we know what they do with all that cholesterol they’re cutting out of food products!  Waste not, want not.

 

And now…for the eyebrow waxing!  Wait a minute, that’s not my eye– #@!&%

 
–brow!

 

And finally, the “after” picture:

Just kidding!  That’s the Mona Lisa.  (Betcha never noticed that about her eyebrows, did you?)

 

Okay, here’s the real “after” picture.

Kevin sent me this picture from work.  I’m taking him at his word because hey, he looks like an honest guy.  Or is it just the new eyebrows?

WHAT’S COOKIN’ 2NITE:
Same’s last night

Weekend scraps

Vincenzo: I’m thirsty.
Me: What would you like to drink?
Vincenzo: A sandwich.

Me, reading Vincenzo’s children’s bible to him: “Then Jacob married.”
Vincenzo: His sheep.
Me: What?
Vincenzo: Jacob married his sheep.

Kevin spent a very confused weekend cleaning house for the house keeper we just hired.  If any of you have hired a house cleaner at some point in your life, can you please assure him that yes, it’s standard practice to straighten your house before she comes, and that no, it’s not a “special deal” I worked out with this particular house cleaner to save a few dollars?  This concept is just too big for him to wrap his brain around.  I think he thought he was hiring another wife, not a house cleaner.

WHAT’S COOKIN’ 2NITE:
Meatloaf
Baked potatoes
Broccoli

Snippets

QUICKIE: Vincenzo: “Mom, you can just call me Elaine for short.”
************************************************************************************************************************
Nothing really big has happened this week, but here are a few little moments from this week that I would like to remember:

*Vincenzo, during a playdate, running out to the deck in the pitch black, pouring water over his head, then running inside and saying, “I think I need to change my clothes

*Rocco not getting a tooth after all; just having very pointy gums

*Vincenzo, dipping his hand into his water, saying, “I like my water hand-flavored.”

*Vincenzo wiping his stinky feet on Kevin, who wiped off the stink and put it on me, who put it on Rocco’s binky, which got rubbed on Vincenzo’s sandwich, which got eaten by Vincenzo, who said, “Mmmmm!  Stinky feet sandwich!”

*Grammy saying “hi” to Rocco and Rocco unwittingly saying, “Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii” back

*Vincenzo, eating apples, saying, “I’m trying to make an apple collection in my tummy.”

*Opening a children’s magazine and seeing that not only is the main character’s name “Gray Goose” but the first line is “Gray Goose had a headache.”

*Nursing Rocco in bed while Kevin pet the cat and whispered dreamily, “It’s like we both have babies,” then told Clyde to move closer so he could get a better latch

*Telling my girlfriends there are probably a few thousand guys in the world I could have married, but only one who could have married me

WHAT’S COOKIN’ 2NITE:
Roasted fall vegetable and ricotta pizza (thanks Colleen!)
Tomato and roasted red pepper soup

What married people do

QUICKIE:
Me: Vincenzo, do you know what your middle name is?
V: No.
Me: Want a clue?
V: Yes.
Me: It’s your grandpa’s name.  Now do you know what it is?
V: Grandpa?!
*************************************************************************************************************************************************
Kevin and I had our first date since Rocco’s been born.  Well, our first date together, anyway.  Rocco and I have a date every day during Vincenzo’s nap—I put the phone on “do not disturb,” light the candles in my bedroom, and crawl into bed with Rocco for a couple hours.  For the record, that’s all Kevin would have loved to do for our date.  For the record, that’s not what we did.

We started at a cocktail lounge, opting to leave Rocco with his aunt because first of all it’s illegal to bring babies into bars, and second of all Rocco’s drinking problem is bad enough already.  (He drinks so much he throws up—several times a day).  We really enjoyed having a conversation sans children, talking freely and without spelling out words like p-i-z-z-a and m-o-v-i-e, for fear one of us would start kicking and throwing and yelling if, in fact, we chose not to see aforementioned m-o-v-i-e, I mean movie. 

When we finally exhausted all topics of conversation, we checked the time.  It had been 20 minutes.

Fortunately, shortly after that my sister and BIL showed up for the second part of our date: a double eyebrow waxing appointment.  For the guys.  I don’t want to get too graphic, but let’s just say that more than their eyebrows got waxed.  Anyone casually passing by could have heard such comments as: Oh!  You look so much thinner now!…And then there were two…I can see so much better now!…Does this eyebrow wax come with a happy ending?  They really crack themselves up.

Our date ended at a restaurant that boasted “$10 Spaghetti Feed!” which is really so much more romantic than our usual all-you-can-eat pizza place.  Adding to the romance, each time the waiter came to ask if we needed something, Kevin answered, “Quiet!  I’m feeding!”

Well, I’m sure you have all taken extensive notes.  I’d write more but I’m still busy swooning.

Picture dump

Nothing makes you feel like your kids are growing up too fast than when your three-month-old cuts a tooth!  Gah!  He’s being a big baby about it so I don’t have much typing time.  Instead I bring you…PHOTO DUMP!

 

WHAT’S COOKIN’ 2NITE: (It’s not lobster, I promise)
White chicken chili in pumpkin bowls
U-Bake-It Bread
Salad with cranberries and gorgonzola
Apple crisp

Trick or treat!

We won’t be home for trick-or-treating this year, as always, but I still like to leave a bowl of candy out.  You all remember my Halloween candy sign from last year, I’m sure:

This year I decided to appeal to a larger religious base:

(I thought about being all cutesy and writing “Karma is a WITCH" but didn’t feel it conveyed the right message.)

Now if only I could figure out how to make a Karma Halloween costume…

Oh, thanks Bratz!  (You’re going to tell me it’s too bitchy, right?)

The Substitute

I don’t have time to really blog today, so I am having this substitute stand in.  My friend send me this video on Facebook and because of it, I’m feeling a bit better about myself today.

Talk techy to me, baby

Alternate title: I Hope my Parents Don’t Read my Blog

Here’s part of an IM between me and the hubs yesterday.  I don’t really know what kind of an introduction I could write for it, so you’re on your own.

KEVIN:
hey.  how was your day?

MRSMOUTHY:
good.  yours?

KEVIN: 
Good.  I’m setting my Secure Store credentials now

MRSMOUTHY:
that sounds interesting
tell me more

KEVIN:
The page had to JIT
It took longer than I wanted it too

MRSMOUTHY
mmmmmm

KEVIN:
It is done now
Now I’m refreshing my external data list
Refreshed

MRSMOUTHY:
ooooooooooooooooo

KEVIN:
Data is back
Filtering it now

MRSMOUTHY:
unnnnnhhhhhhhh

KEVIN:
Should I filter at the BCS?

MRSMOUTHY:
yes!  yes!  YES!

KEVIN:
Uhh…

MRSMOUTHY:
Oh yes!

KEVIN:
#########

KEVIN:
Tell me I’m your base class baby!

MRSMOUTHY:
YOU’RE MY BASE CLASS BABY!

KEVIN:
That’s hot
I’m coming home

MRSMOUTHY:
Bring a cigarette

Happy Sweet 16, Kevin!

QUICKIE: Vincenzo, jumping when the phone rang: “Mommy!  You woke up the phone!”
***********************************************************************************************************************************************************************
Hoo-ee, Kevin just got back from a five-day business trip to Vegas, and if anyone wants to know what I feel like after five days alone with the kids, try holding your breath for about 15 minutes.  How you feel afterwards is about how I feel now.  I told that to Kevin and he told me that’s how he’s felt every day since we’ve had two kids.  I told him he should stop holding his breath.

Kevin enjoyed his business trip, though.  He drunk dialed his four-year-old son twice during the week—once from a Huey Lewis concert, of all places.  Vincenzo thinks it’s funny Daddy was talking so loud [sic].

This week we’re celebrating Kevin’s birthday—his sixteenth, according to Vincenzo.  We gave him a toaster.  It was seriously the only thing he wanted. 

And so, in the spirit of toast, here’s a toast to you, my dear:

Hey baby–
what’s up hon?
Not just thirty–
thirty-one
Saw Huey Lewis
(and The News)
look like a monkey,
smell like one too
Vegas was crazy
Now you’re back
wickity wickity
wickity WHACK
Wickity whack
Wickity whack
This is a toast
It’s not a rap
So Happy Fashizzle
And that’s a wrap

(And because you’re probably confused now, I’ll remind you that I’m white.)

WHAT’S COOKIN’ 2NITE:
Skillet lasagna
Garlic bread
Chocolate peanut butter brownies