Okay, I need to stress about Rocco’s name again even though I’ve said it all before and none of it really matters anyway. Chalk it up to my OCD. (After this I’ll go wash my hands a few times, too).
When we told people Vincenzo’s name, our biggest reaction was: “Vin-sen-zio? Am I saying that right?” We’d explain that no, they weren’t, and they probably never would be able to because they just didn’t have the mental capacity to do so. His name itself is a sort of preliminary IQ screening test for any potential friends or neighbors.
But when I tell people Rocco’s name, I get a different reaction: “Oh…I know someone who just named their boy ‘Rocco,’ too!” I hate that. It’s not that we named him Rocco solely to be unique…it’s Kevin’s middle name, and he was named very significantly after someone dear to his father’s heart named Rocky (you know…the one from the movies?).
(His sister was named after Wendy from Peter Pan.)
(His Dad really, really likes TV.)
But uniqueness was definitely a factor in deciding our second son’s name. I mean, you can’t exactly introduce your sons “Vincenzo” and “Joe” and still feel good about yourself. Anyway, I’m worried that by the time Rocco gets to kindergarten he’ll have to be called “Rocco B.” or worse still, “Rocco T.B.,” which makes it sound like he’s the Rocco with “an often deadly infectious disease caused by mycobacteria.”
So let’s review what I know:
1. Madonna’s son is named Rocco (this I already knew; I’m just hoping it goes unnoticed in the shadow of Lourdes’ name)
2. There is another baby named Rocco at Rocco’s own pediatrician’s office (Kevin keeps trying to convince me the “other baby” is actually our own Rocco)
3. Just yesterday I found out that the son of the cousin of the lady in the Starbucks’ parking lot was also recently named Rocco
See? EVERYONE is naming their sons Rocco! People, I need your help. If you know of anyone considering naming their child or their dog after my son, I beg you TALK THEM OUT OF IT. Tell them of Rocco the Porn Star, but not Rocco the saint, for example. Tell them their son will spend his whole life being rhymed with “taco.” Tell them it’s spelled with a silent G at the beginning. Just do something!
And for heaven’s sake, delete this blog post after reading it. I’ve said too much already .