QUICKIE:  Vincenzo, on the way to the airport to pick up Kevin: “Mom, why do all the airplanes have lines in their names?”  (Alaska Airlines, United Airlines, Delta Airlines…)
I’m not sure how many of you know this, but a couple months ago my younger sister eloped with an older man.*  Basically one day my mom called to ask if she wanted to help work in her garden or something and Jnet answered from Hawaii, her voice aglow with wedded bliss and scandal.

That was in April.  This weekend we finally got to see some pictures of their magical day, and I will now invade their privacy by posting them for the world to see.

Signing the marriage certificate…or is that the prenup?


“You may, er, kiss the bride.”


Here’s the flower girl.  Soooooooooo cute!


The receiving line (short, due to the elope-iness of the event).


A toast!


So let’s everyone send them a big congratulations, and maybe some Waterford crystal and self-tanner to go with it!  Congrats, Jnet and Mott!  From here on out you will be known as Jnott in this blog.

*Her husband is older by almost two years.  Kevin and I set them up a couple years ago, if that gives you any indication of what kind a guy he is.  🙂

French dip sandwiches
Fried rice
Roasted asparagus

What would Octomom think?

QUICKIE: Me to V: “Tomorrow is a Haylee day and an Abby day and an Ian day and a Grammy day.”  V: “Then tomorrow is my lucky day!!”
Ever since I’ve been with Kevin the world has become a stranger and stranger place for me.  I used to think a surprise, for example, was a vase of flowers randomly showing up on your doorstep.  Now I know that a surprise is merely a fart with a lump in it.  I used to correct people when they typed “teh” or “whut” or “injekshuns,” but now I understand they are simply typing in LOLspeak.  I now know that “dropping the kids off at the pool” involves neither kids nor pools, but does involve the bathroom fan and a magazine.  I call people jibrones. 

Last night Kevin opened my eyes once again as we were watching a hockey game on TV.  The fans all threw their hats on the ice after some guy from some random, non-important team playing some random, non-important game scored a goal.  Kevin told me that if the game were in Detroit, people would be throwing octopuses on the ice.  I totally didn’t believe him.  Really?  Really?  Does everyone already know this?  Please tell me I’m not the last person in America to learn that after that National Anthem or after a goal is scored in Detroit the ice is suddenly littered with octopus bodies.

Wikipedia has this to say about octopus-throwing etiquette: 

It is never acceptable to aim for opposing players. Beforehand, octopuses are usually boiled to reduce the amount of “slime” coating and facilitate the time it takes to clean up the ice and prevent further delay. Since Joe Louis Arena does not condone the throwing of any foreign objects onto the ice, fans often sneak the sea creatures in wrapped around their bellies in trash bags.

Hm.  I used to think all those people at Detroit hockey games were fat.  Now I know they’re all just a bunch of octopus-throwing jibrones.

Oh, and in case you were wondering:

Al Sobotka [was] the man responsible for removing the thrown creatures from the ice. He [was] known for swinging the tossed octopuses above his head when walking off the ice…Zamboni drivers [are therefore forbidden] from cleaning up any octopuses thrown onto the ice…because “matter flies off the octopus and gets on the ice” when Al Sobotka does it.

Feta and cheddar omelet
Pan-fried hashbrowns