Christmas Takes a Turn

For my family’s white elephant gift exchange this year, I was confident we’d have the best gift there.


Whatever could it be? A pony? A donkey? A unicorn?


No! It was a giant pinwheel!


But one thing it wasn’t was the best white elephant gift of the year. My SIL won that contest, and as I’m the one who ended up with the nightmare of a gift, I’m the one who most definitely lost.

So, with no further ado, let me introduce you to Smokey Sue.


Smokey Sue hails from the public school where my SIL teaches. In times of yore, it was used in classrooms to teach kids not to smoke when pregnant. “Smokey Sue smokes for two!”

As horrified as I was to unwrap her, I feel she needs a bit more unwrapping.

Here is her thinning yarn hair.


Her is her grayish mouth hole for putting a cigarette in.


Here is the pump that makes her smoke.


Here’s what happens when you light her up.


Here is the dead wrinkled fetus.


And here is one you can buy $194 on Etsy.


Any questions?

Beef stroganov
Garlic broccoli
One bazillion Christmas cookies

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