Mother’s Day Ups and Downs

Mother’s Day has been a series of ups and downs. The biggest down was when I dumped the breakfast casserole I was bringing to brunch upside down in the trunk of the car. I was already having an emotional week (slash month slash year slash life), so when we got to my parents’ I hid in the backyard to cry. But my sisters found me and listened while I cried that I want to go back to that part where everything was closed and we couldn’t go anywhere and didn’t have to talk to anyone. My sisters were all empathy and caring and God bless ‘em not a single one mentioned how badly they wanted a slice of breakfast casserole right then. They cheered me up in the way only sisters and good friends can. (I’m so lucky they are both of these things.)

The conversation we had over breakfast casserole, scrambled eggs and ham also cheered me up. We played a game where one person named a superhero and other people added a caveat. You know—like you can fly, but only once a week and you don’t know when it’s going to happen.

Here are the highlights, for all those moms out there who are trying to forget the fact that their minivans will forever smell of breakfast casseroles:

1. You can breathe underwater…but you are a weak swimmer.

2. You have super speed…but you can only go backwards.

3a. You have super strength…but only in your pinky fingers.
3b. You have super strength…but you cry like a baby every time you use it.

4a. You can change the weather…but every time you do, the weather also changes you.
4b. You can change the weather…but only on Mars.

5a. You can read people’s minds…but only your own.
5b. You can read people’s minds…but only by reading it in Braille on their foreheads.

6. You can see at night…but only things that start with the letter “F.”

7. You can shrink to the size of an ant…but only when you’re hungry, and you’re an anteater.

8. You have eyes in the back of your head…but you have really thick hair.

9. You are a shapeshifter…but you can only shapeshift into your twin brother.

10. You can shoot lasers from your eyes…but you’re followed by an army of cats that chase the laser lights any time you use them.

11a. You can control other people…but only their blinking.
11b. You can control other people…but every time you do, the first thing they do is punch you in the face before you get control.

For anyone who thinks it sounds like fun, here are a couple super powers that you can add caveats to in the comment section:

You have X-ray vision, but…
You can camouflage with your surroundings, but…
You can walk through fire, but…

Picking up fried chicken, rolls, & sweet tea for a picnic. (I am not carrying ANY of it.)

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