Life has been full of the most fun and crazy things lately, but I can’t blog about any of it! There was a body building competition that I can’t blog about because my thoughts about it are too complicated; a murder mystery party I can’t blog about because I don’t want to incriminate anyone; an SCBWI meeting I can’t blog about because you probably aren’t interested; a subbing job I can’t blog about for confidentiality.
Oooo, I want to tell you about those things!
But I can’t!
Wait—what? I subbed?
Yes! I subbed! And while I can’t tell you the juiciest stuff from the day, I can tell you that it was fun, exhausting, eye-opening, challenging, refreshing, traumatizing, and super sweet. It brought back that I-was-born-to-do-this feeling, which was such a relief from my writerly I-have-no-idea-what-I’m-doing feeling.
I subbed in Leo’s classroom and he woke up that morning so excited for me to be his teacher. He was the perfect assistant and my biggest fan all day, and there’s no way I would rather have been reintroduced to teaching. I only made him cry once.
Subbing is something I’ve wanted to do ever since I left teaching. I felt like it was now or never because once my kids leave elementary school, I’ll lose my motivation. My first day back really was a good day, despite its very entertaining challenges that I CANNOT TELL YOU ABOUT ARGH GRR!! But still. When I got home the sun was pouring through the windows, lighting up the couch where I would have been reading a novel after having spent the day rollerblading, writing, shopping, and baking cookies. I panicked. I can’t sub! It gets in the way of all the things I really want to do! Life is too short, and I just wasted one day of it! What have I doooonnne?!
But then I remembered that subbing is something I really want to do, too. In fact, you could say all those other things were getting in the way of subbing.
I need a week or two to shake off the first day (you saw the word “traumatizing in the list above, right?). I hope I say yes to another day of teaching, but it is so hard to say no to a day of writing.
Okay, wow, did I just write that? After two years feeling anywhere from physically sick to filled with dread at the thought of writing, now I feel a pang when I have to miss a day. I need a moment to sit and look at that wonderful thought.
Here are a couple pictures for you while I have my moment.
A selfie of two VERY INNOCENT PEOPLE from my SIL’s murder mystery party:
Me: Kevin, what was going through your mind at the moment this picture was taken?
Kevin: Probably, “I really need to blink now.”
Life is good, and I’m back.
WHAT’S COOKIN’ 2NITE:
Beef stew with polenta
Roasted parmesan cauliflower
Rice Krisipie sushi