Well, let’s get right into it—trying to fit a Christmas that felt bigger than life into the size and shape of a blog post. Shoving aside all “Jesus is the reason for the season” thoughts, let’s head straight for the presents.
I had three favorite gifts this year. My first was a blood pressure monitor my in-laws gave us. We have already had many chances to use it, like when Rocco ate an entire bag of pepperoni sticks in one sitting.
My second favorite gift was this flip chart of moods. It has come in very handy, like when the whole family sat down to play Cheater’s Monopoly together.
And then when Kevin stole $100 from the bank.
And then again when Kevin stole Vermont Avenue from me.
The booklet was technically for me, but really it’s for the whole family. It’s best for everyone if they know my mood before they ask me what’s for dinner.
My number one favorite gift needs a bit of introduction. It is not only my favorite gift of the year; it is my favorite gift of all time. It was the most thoughtful thing anyone has ever done for me, it is something my boys and I will treasure forever, and it is something that will make me happy on the days I think that I am a crappy writer. You are waiting for the punch line, but there is none. There is just a picture of the absolute greatest gift anyone with a persistent writing bug and a vicious inner critic and could receive.
He had my blog printed off. All seven volumes of it. I would quote you some of my favorite passages, but they’re all in the archives here, so it would be redundant. I read parts of the first volume today and have no recollection of most of the events I wrote about, which is crazy considering they were big enough to sit down and carefully craft into a blog post. It felt like reading someone else’s writing and I thought, Man, this girl can write! Which is not something my inner critic has ever said to me. In fact, Kevin added a quote from me at the beginning of each book Ironic quotes, considering behind each quote are 400 pages of writing that tell a different story.
It’s kind of meta, having a picture of my entire blog here in a single post on my blog, don’t you think?
This set of books was the gift of a lifetime and it made my dream come true: now I’m a published author.
I am a modern woman. I am the one who writes fairy tales flipped on their heads, whose books turn tutu-clad princesses into epic bad guys and pancake-flipping moms into brain surgeons. But despite all that, I feel sometimes like Kevin is my knight in shining armor and he keeps fighting the dragon while I stand there in its jaws yelling “Turn back! There’s no point!” He slays the dragon then turns to me and says, “There is always a point.”
Then he says, “Get it?” and points to the pointy end of his sword. “There’s always a point?” And I roll my eyes and everything is back to normal again.
Now, everyone knows that The Greatest Gift of all is learning to love yourself, as Whitney Houston made clear in 1985, but this stack of books here? Well, I guess it just brings the point home.
I’m not a big fan of professing your love of your spouse to all your friends on social media, but sometimes you have to break the rules. Kevin, I love you so much. Thanks for all the dragon slaying.
WHAT’S COOKIN’ 2NITE:
Salad w/apples, craisins, and candied pecans