Scenes from the Morning

BEGIN SCENE: THE BOYS are eating breakfast at the bar and KEVIN, a prematurely graying father, is playing with LEO, a rabid looking three-year-old.  The playing turns to over-excited screaming.

LEO, screaming: GIVE IT BACK, DADDY!
ME, without looking up: Play nicely, Kevin.  Give Leo back whatever you took. 
KEVIN: But he’s talking about my finger!
ME: Come on, Kevin, give Leo your finger back.  He was using it.
LEO, squealing: GIVE IT, DADDY!
KEVIN, holding up his hand to LEO: Okay, Leo, which finger do you want?  Because I think I know which finger I want to give you…

10 minutes later, THE BOYS have disappeared from the kitchen, leaving a colossal mess that ME is cleaning up.

LEO, calling sweetly from his room: Mom?  Mommy?  Mommy?
ME walks to LEO’S room and opens the door.  LEO is sitting on top of his fire truck bed, aiming a bedazzled Nerf gun at the door.
Pew!  Pew!  Pewpewpew!  I killed you!
ME: Was that a set-up?  Did I just get set-up by my three-year-old?
ME walks out of room, picking up about 8 pairs of dirty underwear that lay scattered around the hallway

A short while later, ROCCO and LEO are playing with trains in the hallway.  LEO holds out an empty hand, presumably with a pretend train on it to hitch up.

LEO: Here you go, Rocco!
ROCCO [playing along]: Ooooo, thanks!  What is it, Leo?
LEO: A sticky hand!!

30 minutes later, ME and THE BOYS are walking scootering, and/or biking to the bus stop. 

ME: Vincenzo, when will you learn?  You’re wearing a sweatshirt and shorts to school and it’s 37 degrees outside! VINCENZO looks at his clothes, then back up at ME: I guess some people will just never see sense, will they?

Drum goes ba-duh-dum, ALL CHARACTERS look out at audience and shrug their shoulders, curtain drops.

5-Spice Chicken
Mashed Potatoes
Roasted Asparagus

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