Fish Tricks

I never knew owning pets would be so fun.  These goldfish have already earned their collective $.32 worth of entertainment value, and more.  Seriously, I can’t wait to see what they do next!

It became apparent within the first hour of owning them that Rocco’s fish, Lightning, is the brains of the duo.  He found the food right away when we sprinkled it in the water and got started right away on eating it.  Vincenzo’s fish, King Bob, who was won at the fair, wasn’t too quick to find food but instead realized he could get a tasty treat by following Lightning around and eating his poop.

Lightning gets very irritated at this, but their aquarium is only so big, so what’s a fish to do?  Kevin pointed out empathetically that King Bob was raised by carnies, so it’s really to be expected.

Because I used to teach seventh grade, or perhaps because I was born this way, I find all the poop stuff hilarious, so I sent this picture to my husband saying, “King Bob is going to feast tonight!”


My husband, who also could have taught seventh grade, replied, “He’ll eat like a king!”

And later, when it was past dinner time and I was waiting for Kevin to pick me up, I texted, “I’m so hungry, I could eat two inches of fish poo!”

At dinner that night we kept talking about Lightning’s colossal string of excrement and Vincenzo said, “Please!  Can we stop talking about all this at dinner?”  Sure, I agreed; this probably isn’t appropriate dinner conversation.  Then a fly landed on the table and Rocco asked, “Mom, what do flies eat?”

And we all know the answer so that one, right?!


Folks, I cannot make this stuff up.

I couldn’t keep the poo humor to myself, so I sent the Lightning poo picture to my sister.

My sister did not teach seventh grade, but she did work at an animal shelter and she expressed immediate concern about Lightning’s health.  She researched it to find out that Lightning is overeating and has become constipated.  She said we might need to take him to the vet.

I didn’t tell her that the vet we have chosen for these fish goes by the name of Dr. Flush, but I did agree to put them on a diet.  I’m not worried about Lightning, who clearly needs to cut back on the carbs, but if Lightning eats less then he is going to poop less, and if he poops less, then what is to become of King Bob?

Hamburgers/hot dogs
Potato salad
Macaroni salad
A touch of salmonella

(It’s our annual block party, which always lasts two hours longer than the FDA would approve of)

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