Kevin was tired of eating. He knew he needed to eat but didn’t feel like taking the time to get food and then bring that food to his mouth and then chew it up. I mean, who has that kind of time anyway?
So Kevin did some on-line research and a couple weeks later, a big box showed up at our door. Inside?
This, Kevin explained, is going to be his sustenance from now on—at least for lunch.
Soylent is a powder that you mix with water and a little oil and then drink, and it is balanced so that you don’t need to eat or drink anything else—it’s a “perfectly balanced meal,” in Kevin’s words. It got its name from the (fictional) movie Soylent Green, where most of the human population survived on rations of a meal replacement called Soylent Green which, at the end of the movie, is revealed to consist of ground up humans.
Based on all that, if I were making a meal replacement powder to sell to adults, probably the one name I wouldn’t give it is “Soylent.” Am I right?!
Kevin describes the taste of Soylent as “nonoffensive.” I cautiously took a sip, expecting something horrific but had to draw the same conclusion: I wanted to hate it but had to admit my taste buds were, in no way, offended. My eyes, definitely offended but not my tongue.
Still, it’s not like eating lunch was that big of a deal for Kevin—most days I’d offer to make him a lunch. I still do, and now thanks to Soylent, I have a rating system for my cooking. I offer Kevin some leftovers for lunch and if he says, “Nah, I’m just going to have Soylent today,” then I know my cooking was, in some way, offensive, or at least more offensive than Soylent.
Plum chicken, for example, did not pass the greater than/worse than Soylent test. Peanut noodles with teriyaki tofu did, though. (I know! Some of the results are surprising!)
After a week of Soylent I asked Kevin how it was going and he said, “Great!” I asked him how he did it. How did he choke down a drink that looks like a puddle day after day when he could be eating, you know, food. He pulled up a menu that showed what he ate for lunch the week before he began Soylent. It was a burger described thusly:
Custom Ground Grass Fed Beef, Brew Battered & Fried Daily’s Bacon, Maple Syrup Drizzle, Beecher’s Flagship White Cheddar, Fried Organic Egg, Caramelized Sweet Onion, Bibb Lettuce, Tomato, Tipsy Sauce
Plus, he said, a serving of fries that was bigger than anything he’s seen before.
I took a closer look at the menu and pointed out that the same restaurant also offered:
Greek Kale Salad: Baby Kale, Cucumbers, Feta, Tomato, Chickpeas, Olives, Lemon Vinaigrette
He said he had dripped maple syrup on that part of the menu and couldn’t see that selection.
I had to admit then that Soylent might save his life.
So the other day I took the kids to Costco and we sent Kevin this picture to see if he’d like us to pick some up for in-between Soylent snacks.
He said no thanks.
I’m worried now that he’s becoming finicky. I’m a busy mother-of-three! I don’t have time for picky eaters!
But then, if I don’t have time to prepare a special meal for a finicky eater there is one super simple, just add water solution:
The solution solution.
WHAT’S COOKIN’ 2NITE:
Black Bean burgers with roasted red peppers and fresh mozzarella
Orange, pineapple, banana smoothies
Maple pecan streusel bars