1. A conversation:
Rocco: Why are we reading books in your bed, Mom?
Me: Because it’s bigger than your bed. My bed has to fit both me and Daddy.
Rocco: Yeah, and you’re really wide.
2. A stranger: Where did your baby get his blond hair?
Me: His mom was a playboy bunny.*
3. Me to Vincenzo: Did you leave an empty raspberry container in the fridge?
V: Yes, and I also left one on the table.
Me: Maybe next time you could put them in the recycling bin?
V: Well I wouldn’t have to if you were doing your job!
*Okay, I haven’t really said this yet, but I keep daring myself to!