1. Rocco: Mom, when we do painting at school, we paint on a weasel.
2. R: Can I have a paper towel please?
Me: Sure, but you mean a napkin.
R, laughing at himself: Yeah. Paper towels are for wiping your penis!
3. Vincenzo: Mom, the Netherlanders must have gone to school for longer than we do.
V: Because it says here they had bigger brains than we do.
Me: Wait—you mean Neanderthals?
V: No, Netherlanders.
(I checked. He meant Neanderthals.)
WHAT’S COOKIN’ 2NITE:
Don’t judge me.