Found Food

Kevin was giving the kids a lesson on “found food.”  It started when Rocco was crawling around under the table and found an old piece of macaroni and cheese and wanted to eat it.

Rocco: Can I eat this, Dad?
Kevin: Rocco, it’s generally not best practices to eat found food.
Rocco, still under the table, holding up a piece of cereal: Then how about this?

This has been a recurring problem with my boys.  They find things on the ground around our house or sometimes at restaurants or stores and they want to eat it.  So Kevin walked them through a few scenarios:

Kevin: You’re at a restaurant and you find some spaghetti noodles on the floor.  What do you do?
Rocco: Eat them!
Kevin: No!  Those are found food.  You leave them there.  Okay, you’re crawling under the dinner table and you notice a piece of old cheese.  What do you do?
Rocco: Eat it!
Kevin: ERRR!  Wrong.  Found food.  Okay, you’re in the car and you find some crackers at the bottom of your car seat.  What do you do?  I’ll give you a clue, Rocco.  They’re found food.
Rocco: Leave it!
Kevin: Right!  Finally, we’re getting somewhere!

At that point I walked by the boys and their teacher with a handful of m&m’s that I casually dropped on the floor and walked away.  The boys made a leap for the m&ms, then pulled back.  They sat there staring at the m&ms, confused by this new scenario.  It was easy enough to hypothetically leave old noodles, old cheese, and old crackers…but brand new m&ms that Mom just dropped on the carpet right beside them?

And that, my friends, is the reason  why teachers themselves can’t raise normal, well-adjusted, respectful, law-abiding children.

Anything the kids can find on the floor