The rocket science of packing lunches

I had a dentist appointment last week at 7, which meant Kevin stuck around a bit to get the kids off to school.  I was going to have him pack the boys’ lunches, since I wouldn’t have time to do it in the morning but when I started writing him a couple notes about what to pack, I realized this was an incredibly complicated and precise system that he was highly unqualified for. I ended up packing the lunches the night before, but for the sake of my blog (and for future dentist appointments), I have written out the instructions here.

Make both boys a cheese sandwich (Rocco’s school doesn’t allow nut products).  Don’t put a pickle on Vincenzo’s, but do on Rocco’s, as it is often the only part of his lunch that he actually eats. 

We only have oranges left for fruit, so peel one and slice it into rounds (Rocco doesn’t like oranges to have their peel on and Vincenzo doesn’t like unpeeled oranges when they’re in the wedge shape, so this is the one way they’ll both eat them).

Give each boys a cookie.  Either make sure they each get one they decorated themselves or prepare to die.  Your choice.

Pack a healthy snack for Vincenzo.  Store it in the outside pocket of his backpack.  If you put it anywhere else in the backpack he comes home cranky and hungry and accuses you of forgetting to pack a snack for him–only since I’m the one who usually packs the snack he will be mad at me, which will make me mad at you, and having me mad at you on the same day I went to the dentist is something you really don’t want to face.

Give each boys a water bottle.  Fill Rocco’s up so it’s ready for him at lunch.  Don’t fill up Vincenzo’s unless you enjoy listening to him whine all the way up to the bus stop about how heavy his backpack is.

Put Rocco’s lunch in the three-part Tupperware, then put it in the small blue insulated lunch bag with the rectangular squishy ice gel pack.  (This is the only Tupperware that fits in the small blue lunch bag, and the squishy ice gel pack is the only one that fits in the small blue lunch bag.)

Put Vincenzo’s lunch in various small Tupperwares, then place in the black insulated lunch bag with the bigger ice pack.  Separate the ice pack from his lunch with a wash cloth or it will freeze his sandwich.

And voila!  Lunches are made.

As you can see, I was totally that person in grade school who you might not have wanted to be friends with but you definitely wanted to be in your group for a team project.  Tomorrow I have another early morning dentist appointment.  What do you think…should I put the instructions to the test?

And if you have a minute, try writing out lunch instructions for your own husbands…then tell me how it goes.  😉

Pasta primavera
Fresh pineapple
Creamsicle cake pops

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