My Boys Pee Sitting Down

I’m assuming by the 2,000 comments she gets on them, you’ve all seen the potty posts over at Crappy Pictures.  I, like Mrs. Crappy, am surrounded by penises all day and have much to offer on the subject of urine.

This will be a blogging mini series.  It will make up for my two weeks of absenteeism.

Penises are long-toted as being more convenient than lady parts for the disposal of human waste.  I guess in some instances they are.  That semi-open flap on the front side of boys’ underwear?  It’s there for a reason.  I suppose.

I’ve seen girl moms at the park, rushing to the trunk of their car to pull out a mini, portable toilet, assembling it quicker than you can say, “Cross your legs!” and sitting their girls on it just in time.  Boys are different and make going to the park so much easier.  Like this:

 

park

And this scene from our backyard:

ravine2

Before I had boys, I was afraid of having boys because my memories of playing at little boys’ houses involved bathrooms that smelled like potty.  Now I am the mom of three boys and my bathroom does not smell like potty.  It REEKS of it.

The problem is this: my little guy has outgrown the training toilet.  I know most guys pee standing up, but…

prob 1

So Rocco does it sitting down, which looks like this:

prob3

or sometimes this

prob4 (1)

(If the yellow isn’t showing up, be assured that it is leaking out from underneath the toilet seat.)

Still, neither of those explains things I see in the bathroom like this:

tub

And this:

more potty

I don’t know what it is like when little girls use the toilet.  I imagine it is something like this:

girl bathroom (1)

3 minutes later…

girl bathroom2

Feel free to set me straight if I’ve gotten anything wrong here.  I’ll be in the kids’ bathroom, scrubbing potty out of the grout with one of their toothbrushes.

Tune in tomorrow…

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7 thoughts on “My Boys Pee Sitting Down

  1. Oh my god! You made me laugh so hard. Thank you! I have a son who will be potty training eventually so this prepares me for what’s to come. I also have a daughter so I can set you straight. For us, bathroom trips involve her making sure there are no automatic dryers or flushers before we’re allowed to go in (she doesn’t like loud noises). Then, she makes me turn around to give her privacy (if I’m in the stall with her). As of late, she’s been going on her own so the only thing I have to do is remind her to wipe and flush. She washes her hands on her own (with help turning the faucet). It’s pretty boring and sometimes takes FOREVER. She’s generally very clean about it but man does she take her time. 🙂

  2. Yes! This is the problem with sitting down. How it hits precisely between the seat and the bowl and then drips out and onto the floor and is forever caked in the invisible cracks where the toilet meets the floor? Yep. And I love the name Rocco. I was proud of that spider name.

  3. The tales of the bathroom are no less exciting with girls. Just add some drama to your messes. I regularly find toilet paper on the floor and one of the girls decided last week that it would be fun to try to shove it down the front of my shirt (yes, after it was used). I still find remains of their business all over the seat and sometimes on the floor. Last week when “helping” clean the toilet (for some reason both of the girls think that using the toilet brush to scrub the blue toilet cleaner is the best time ever. weird but true.) I turned my back for a moment to find her with one hand in the toilet while the other hand unrolling the TP at a fast clip. I could go on, but it still is not nearly as funny as your post, so I will stop.

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