My Boys Pee Sitting Down

I’m assuming by the 2,000 comments she gets on them, you’ve all seen the potty posts over at Crappy Pictures.  I, like Mrs. Crappy, am surrounded by penises all day and have much to offer on the subject of urine.

This will be a blogging mini series.  It will make up for my two weeks of absenteeism.

Penises are long-toted as being more convenient than lady parts for the disposal of human waste.  I guess in some instances they are.  That semi-open flap on the front side of boys’ underwear?  It’s there for a reason.  I suppose.

I’ve seen girl moms at the park, rushing to the trunk of their car to pull out a mini, portable toilet, assembling it quicker than you can say, “Cross your legs!” and sitting their girls on it just in time.  Boys are different and make going to the park so much easier.  Like this:

 

And this scene from our backyard:

Before I had boys, I was afraid of having boys because my memories of playing at little boys’ houses involved bathrooms that smelled like potty.  Now I am the mom of three boys and my bathroom does not smell like potty.  It REEKS of it.

The problem is this: my little guy has outgrown the training toilet.  I know most guys pee standing up, but…

So Rocco does it sitting down, which looks like this:

or sometimes this

(If the yellow isn’t showing up, be assured that it is leaking out from underneath the toilet seat.)

Still, neither of those explains things I see in the bathroom like this:

And this:

I don’t know what it is like when little girls use the toilet.  I imagine it is something like this:

3 minutes later…

Feel free to set me straight if I’ve gotten anything wrong here.  I’ll be in the kids’ bathroom, scrubbing potty out of the grout with one of their toothbrushes.

Tune in tomorrow…