The House Hates Me

Kevin was out of town all week on a business trip.  Some of you may have seen my Facebook Status on Wednesday night:

K is out of town tonight and I’m starting my 3rd Craft Wars episode, eating lemon blueberry trifle straight from the bowl, and reading 3 months worth of mommy blogs. Is this awesome or depressing?

I forgot to mention I was still wearing pants, as it might actually have made the difference between awesome and depressing.  (The verdict was: awesome!)

Anyway, things kind of went downhill from there.  Over the course of the week…

1.  The smoke alarm in the nursery started beeping like it’s low on batteries, so I put in new ones and felt very Amazon about it until BEEP!   BEEP!  No matter how many sets of new batteries I put in it, it continues to tell me it’s low on battery.  I know how it feels.

2.  The garage light went out and I haven’t had time to buy the right bulb and fix it.

3.  The printer got jammed.  I fixed it, printed, and it jammed again.  And again.  And again.  I think it’s in cahoots with the smoke alarm.

4.  The new TV that was standing up on end (in its box) fell over.  I have not opened it up to see how bad the damage is and am thinking of just not saying anything to anyone (except the entire world right here) in hopes that no one notices.

5.  My cell phone battery stopped working—I charge it up all night and it has enough power for one phone call.  I spend the phone call trying to get ahold of Kevin to tell him my phone only has enough battery for this call I am making.

6.  The Zune battery is doing the same thing.  Yes, I own and use a Zune.  It helps me sleep by replacing racing, repetitive, obsessive thoughts with Enya.  (My cell phone is usually lost and/or out of batteries and is a completely unreliable source of music or anything).

7.  All the living room lights all stopped working.  All of them.  It’s not a lightbulb thing; it is something much more complex and sinister than that.

8.  I found my first gray hair

I swear Kevin rigs the house when he leaves just to remind me how incredibly dependent on him I have become and how I would have to be masochistic to ever leave him and then he reminds that I’m old now and it would be impossible to find a strapping young man to take his place.

Seriously, a gray hair?!  I’m not sure how he pulled that one off but he BETTER not do it again.

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