…Rocco woke me up at 10:30 last night to go to the bathroom; Leo woke me up at 11:30 to nurse; Vincenzo woke me up at 1 because he thought his alarm clock was on fire; Leo woke me up at 3:30 to nurse; Rocco woke me up at 5 and had a temper tantrum because the alarm clock wasn’t green yet; then everyone woke up at 6:30 and started asking me to play trains with them, to make them waffles, and in Leo’s case, to nurse him again.
Kevin and I had gone to bed early last night, exhausted, promising to wake up early to clean up the dinner mess and the general state of disaster of our house. Instead I found myself throwing a pretend birthday party for James on the train set at 6:45AM while also trying to do Patty Cake with Leo and feeling guilty as I watched Vincenzo give up on waffles and grab himself some chips for breakfast instead.
So forgive me if I’m cranky.
But I got yelled at when I had to go to the bathroom right in the middle of James’ birthday party. The Poo Police came in to the bathroom and stood right next to me asking, “Are you done yet? Are you done yet? Are you done now?”
Then I got yelled at when I told the kids we were going to a concert at the beach.
On the walk from the car to the beach we were a picture perfect family, though, with the two big brothers pushing their little brother in the stroller…unless you got within earshot and could hear the two big brothers spitefully yelling at each other, “GIVE ME MORE SPACE! YOU’RE HOGGING THE STROLLER!” all the way way there.
Rocco spent the entire concert asking if we could go home now and making a break for it. When we finally did leave we had to listen to Rocco yelling, “I’M HUNGRY. GIVE ME SOMETHING TO EAT. I WANT IT NOW!!”
Once home I went inside to swaddle Leo and put him in the crib, and I don’t know what happened in that sixty seconds but V and R both came inside violently crying and yelling at each other. I swear, I should have named them Cain and Abel.
So forgive me if I’m cranky but I’m tired of being patient and calm when I really just want to slap one of the kids. I’m tired of eating breakfast with one hand while wiping poop off of one of my kids’ bottoms with the other. I’m tired of watching everything I say and everything I do because I know the kids are learning from everything I say and do. I’m tired of making healthy eating choices to model for the kids when I really just want to have cake and ice cream for breakfast and drink soda all day.
I know someday I’ll miss all this but today…today I just want to be an adult surrounded by reasonable, calm, loving people who do not place terrorist-like demands on me, who don’t lapse into baby talk periodically, who can wipe their own butts, who do not fall on the floor and begin screaming if I flush my own poop, who can be left in a room for more than a minute without me having to arbitrate a fight, who don’t tell you they’re hungry and demand something to eat in the middle of lunch, and who don’t eat all the chocolate out of the chocolate Special K.
It’s just one of those days…I hope.