Yesterday was my and Kevin’s 9th wedding anniversary. He was on a business trip in Idaho and, him not being the type to secretly arrange babysitting for the boys, send me a private jet with a spa on board, fly me to Idaho, and take me on a hot air balloon while serenading me atop a white horse, I took it upon myself to send something to him.
My first idea was to send him this gift basket of his favorite beer:
The basket cost about $70 with s/h, so it would have made the Coors Light allll that more delicious. Unfortunately, I came up with this plan on Monday and needed to order it a week ahead of time, so scratch that.
My second marvelous idea was to send Kevin a singing telegram to his office, preferably dressed up like Chuck Norris and ending his song with a roundhouse kick to the head. Unfortunately, all the companies in Idaho declined my offer due to distance or previous commitments. Personally, I think they were just afraid the real Chuck Norris would show up, kill them for impersonating him, then haunt their ghosts. He can do that.
So my third idea was to send Kevin something extremely pink and girly to his Idaho office, like this:
Probably followed by something like this:
And then followed by this:
Unfortunately, I didn’t get the address to his office in time. So in the end, all I could send him was this picture I photoshopped to show myself in traditional Idaho bridal wear:
It’s not much and it doesn’t have nearly as much public humiliation value as my other choices, but at least my antlers don’t look fat in this picture.