And the cause of such joy:
These bloggy “thank yous” are usually used to rank on someone who wronged the blogger. But this is a genuine thank-you to someone who made my day.
I’m assuming you’ve all been over to Crappy Pictures at some point, as she is the funnier, artsier, and more popular Me. Some things are just best described by pictures, so I am going to rip off her style here. For the sake of originality (and because I have zero computer drawing skills), I am going to represent humans as triangles with arms.
So. Here are some things various women have said to me once they notice my three little boy triangles in tow:
They take such pity on me. Sometimes I explain that we weren’t trying for a girl; we were just trying for three. Or we were just trying for healthy. Or I say something snarky, like, “Yes, I guess we just didn’t try hard enough. THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!”
But the other day at a store a lady saw me and my triangles walk past and said:
She’s the only one who got it right.
(That’s why she gets the pretty mouth and eyelashes.)
1. The boys were at the table eating cherries:
R: What did you just spit out, Denzo?
V: A pit.
R: Ooo! Will you spit out my pits, Denzo?!!
2. V: Can I wear my boots outside, Mom?
R: Can I wear my feet outside?
3. R, out of the blue: Denzo starts with the number “V.” (“Denzo” is his name for Vincenzo.) (Kindergarten is going to be very confusing for Rocco.)
4. Rocco, whining: I want Special Kaaaaayyy. I want it nooooowww.
Me: Please stop whining.
Rocco, whining: But that’s what people doooooo when they waaaant something!
5. Rocco showed up after 20 minutes alone yesterday, looking like this, no explanation:
6. Rocco: Remember when we didn’t have Leo, Mom?
R: Just leave him somewhere. Then we won’t have him anymore.
7. Rocco at lunch: Where do bottoms come from? I was just walking around one day, then I had one!
The other day at Red Robin, Rocco told us that the alphabet starts with “R.” Here’s where we went from there:
Me: Knock knock!
Vincenzo: Who’s there?
V: Ralph who?
V: Good one.
Me: I’m not done yet! Knock knock!
V: Who’s there?
V: Thea who?
Me: Thealphabet actually starts with “A!”
V: Okay, my turn. Knock knock.
Me: Who’s there?
Me: House who?
V: House wine!
A guy named Genuine Draft showed up next, followed by One Great Margarita, followed by Fruity Boozie Daiquiri, followed by Vincenzo’s dad, who confiscated the Red Robin menu from us.
We’re just thankful nobody from CPS showed up.
You know that saying, “There are no stupid questions?” Yeah, well, there are many stupid questions, and they all start with the word “why.” And Rocco has asked ALL of them. Our days sound a little like this lately:
Rocco: Why do I have to go potty? Why did I go potty on the bafroom floor? Why are you cleaning the bafroom floor, Daddy? Why are we making cupcakes, Mom? Mom, why are we eating cupcakes? Why do they taste so good? Why am I wearing a lace-up shoe? Why am I wearing two lace-up shoes? Why is my penis so big?
Finally, once yesterday he asked a question that did not start with “Why.”
R: Can you get my red car, Mom?
It felt good. It felt real good to answer a non-why question. Until…
R: Why did you say “yes?”