As if pumping isn’t degrading enough in its rawest form, here’s what it’s like to pump with a two-year-old hanging around.
Rocco yells up from the playground: MOOMMM! WHERE ARE YOU GOING, MOM?
Me: I’M GOING INSIDE TO PUMP.
R: CAN I COME WATCH, MOMMY?
Me: SURE, YOU CAN WATCH ME PUMP.
(Did I mention yet that our new neighbors were moving in yesterday?)
*5 minutes later, with me being hooked up
R: Why are there two boooooobs, Mommy?”
Me: Could you please take your head off of the breast pump?
R: Is your body making milk, Mom?
R: I drink milk.
Me: Your milk comes from cows.
R: Ha ha, no. I drink kid milk. Hey, pump me next, Mom! Pump me! PUMP MEEEEE!
During this pumping session I was also driven all over by Rocco’s cars, force fed Sophie the giraffe, and used as a human Kleenex.
Put that on the cover of TIME Magazine.