I can’t believe I drive a…

So my husband drove away from the house this morning in this:


And came home four hours later driving this:


Yes, people.  A minivan.  I now drive a minivan.

It was as much my decision as his to get a minivan—with three kids plus stroller, passengers, a zillion cloth shopping bags and other gear, it was our only option—but that hasn’t stopped me from giving him the cold shoulder all day for buying it. 

I know I am being a  spoiled brat to complain about the brand new, unblemished car that is currently making our whole garage smell like it’s fresh off the showroom floor, but For the record, I sent Kevin out with instructions to “get a good deal on a minivan that looks about as trashed as our current Hilander.”  Anyone who knows Kevin, though, knows that he loves spending money and he loves shiny things.

So we now own a car that I am not only ashamed to drive because of its minivanishness but also that I am terrified to drive because of my long history for hitting other things with my car.  Plus, it being new and all feels like we’re going to own it forever and not just like we’re borrowing it for a couple years.  The Sienna came with heated seats but it didn’t come with built-in denial.  Blech.

Kevin texted me from the dealership to see if I wanted flames or skulls painted on it to make it look cool, and I replied that yes, I’d love to have something painted on it.  Maybe something about lipstick and chickens, for example.  Then I asked if he could pick up a pair of mom jeans for me on the way back home so I don’t look weird driving it.

I hope any of you who already drive minivans are not taking too much offense at this post.  I’m one of you now, after all, so I figure it’s all cool. 

In a very uncool kind of way, of course.

5 thoughts on “I can’t believe I drive a…

  1. I LOATHED my minivan when we bought it.. even the new car smell wasn’t enough to overcome the smell of shame and betrayal I felt I had placed on myself! I couldn’t look myself in the rear view mirror. Since that purchase we moved to the snow country and bye bye minivan after our first winter..now I drive a Ford Expedition Eddie Bower.. SO HAPPY.. and so missing the automatic doors!!! 2 kids 11 & 7 and 1 due in May.. curse you Honda Odyssey..

  2. I top you….we owned a minivan BEFORE we even had children. Yes, you read that right. Funny thing is, people here in Spain actually think of them as cool. NO, I am not joking – people with minivans here are surfers, bikers, and use all the space in the back to store their gear. Another cool young car (actually cooler than the minivan) is a station wagon. I am not joking…I have consulted various people on the subject because it is just that unbelievable. I guess it has to do with the fact that almost everyone drives small cars here so somehow having a large car is a luxury? Anywho – does it make me feel any better about our huge minivan? No way! Hope it makes you laugh though at least!

    So excited for you guys and your baby on the way!

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