Maternity Monday: That Stinks

The little details I miss when I’m pregnant:

1.  Chocolate: you might as well try to offer me dog poop.  I find chocolate entirely repulsive now.

2.  Water: Completely averse to drinking it when I’m pregnant.

3.  Coffee: See water

4. Brushing my teeth at night.  It makes me throw up, which kind of defeats the purpose of brushing them.

5.  My husband: I can’t handle the smells of sleeping right next to someone in bed so he sleeps on the couch at night.  (And you thought chivalry was dead.)  Sometimes I can’t sleep in the bed anyway so I kick him off the couch at 2AM and he makes some comment about, “Oh…was the bed too comfortable for you?” as he stumbles to the bedroom.  He has now started referring to the couch as the bed and the bed as the couch.

6.  Medium-cellulited thighs: Now mine are heavily cellulited.

Blech.  Valentine’s Day has never felt farther away. 

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