Maternity Monday: Baby Jesus

Can I start by showing you the vitamins I have to take every morning?


2 mega doses of folic acid; 1 calcium + vitamin D; 1 iron; 1 baby aspirin (for a blood clotting condition I have); 2 stool softeners; and 2 heartburn tablets.  BLECH.

I had my 12-week appointment last week.  The nurse practitioner spent about five minutes looking for the baby’s heartbeat and couldn’t find it.  I’ll admit it.  I kind of freaked out.  In my three other pregnancies, they’ve always found the heartbeat right away at my 12-week appointment.

It took about two minutes for the OB to come in.  In that two minutes I had already begun to mourn our dead baby and to visualize our future as a family of four and no more because I have told Kevin if anything happens this pregnancy, I am not I repeat NOT going through this ever again.  Pregnancy is hell, and I’ve already visited hell more times than I’ve visited somewhere nice, like Hawaii.

Anyway, it took the OB another minute to  also not find the heartbeat with the doppler or whatever it’s called..  I made Kevin get the box of Kleenex, as could feel the tears right there..  My OB fired up the ultrasound machine and lo and behold…

IT LIVES!!!  (The baby, that is.)

There was much rejoicing.  At lunch afterwards we decided It needs a code name.  Vincenzo was known as Superfly in utero and Rocco was previously Mbungo, just to let you know where we’re coming from.

Jesus (since Kevin claims the baby died for a couple minutes in the OB’s office then came back to life)
Barfy (can be changed to Barferella if needed)
Hercules (which I guess could be changed to Herculella?)
Pat (SNL’s version of a gender neutral name)
Baby Gaga

What do you think—is there a winner here or do you have something better?

8 thoughts on “Maternity Monday: Baby Jesus

  1. Chamo Kid… because he/she was really good at hiding from you. AND THEN you would have a lovely theme for the nursery that could possibly be featured on CMT if you played your cards right.

    Congratulations! Lovely surprise to find out that you are expecting.

  2. kinda partial to Jesus because I know it is the only time you could say things like “Oh Jesus, you’re killing me” or “Jesus looks like s/he may be a big one”. You could probably think of hundreds more and it would be funny to read. Baby Gaga is super cute but may be a bit too trendy.

  3. Jesus, but only if you pronounce it “Hey-Zeus” because your Mexican friend from just north of the border wants to feel like she’s part of the fun.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s