Dragon Quest Birthday Party

Yes, again.  I just got my BIL’s pictures of the party so I thought I’d do the whole shebang for those of you who want to recreate the party on some weekend you’re bored or whatever.  Sorry if any of these shots are repeats!

The guests were invited to a quest to return seven magical eggs to the fearsome dragon FlameFright before he broke free and wreaked havoc on our peaceful village.


When the kids got to the house they decorated shields to carry with them on the quest.  (My sister cut these boards out of pine wood and we mounted a drawer pull on the back of each one.  Add sequins and VOILA!)


Then Kevin told the young comrades it was time to travel to the land of dragons to find the seven magical eggs, so they had to travel in this gigantic hamster wheel thingy over an “ocean” (blanket) and “mountains” (pillows).




Next up the kids were led to a big pile of “swords” (blow-up bats) that they’d need to fight the dragon, but as soon as they got their swords these two crazies came out shooting marshmallows, potatoes, and balls at them:


Once the questers chased them off it was down to the train tracks for dragon fight training.  It was really just an excuse to throw rocks at a sign down there because ROCKS!  BOYS!  ROCKS AND BOYS!



On the way back up the kids had to put out a fire that FlameFright had lit by gathering all the flames on the playhouse (my sister stuck the flames on it during the rock throwing):


Finally came the big ROOOAAAAARRRRRR everyone had been waiting for, and the fight was on!


The dragon was beaten into submission—actually he was beaten until he spewed candy.  My sister sewed his dragon costume onto a pair of sweat pants and she made it so that the dragon stomach opened with a few strips of velcro so that Kevin could spew candy like a human pinata when the beating got too rough. 


FlameFright’s eggs were returned and treasure was had. 


Because I am a nerdy teacher at heart, the treasure box was stuffed with How to Train Your Dragon books.  Books, kids!  Treasure!  But because I did not want to also be beaten into submission at my son’s birthday party, there were also candy, bubbles, necklaces, compasses, party blowers, etc.


They filled up their treat boxes…


…then headed inside for lunch, serving up:

Dragons-in-blankets (which are AWESOME!  Croissant-wrapped cheesy hotdogs—I added “zzzzz” flags to make it completely obvious these are dragons.  In blankets.))


Dragon claws


Cheeto torches


Dragon blood punch


And of course, a dragon cake.


For more party details you can check out this post and that post.

And now I bring you THE QUEST: Kids Farting Around to Epic Music.


What it feels like for a guy

I’ve been trying to explain to my husband what it feels like to have mastitis, but he continually fails to look sufficiently alarmed and empathetic at my descriptions.  I think I might have gotten it right finally though.  So.  If you are a guy and you have never had mastitis, it goes something like this:

So imagine a sensitive part of your body, kind of like your penis only not quite as sensitive…maybe your balls?  Are those slightly less sensitive?  Okay, your balls.  For the first part of mastitis someone is going to stick a golf ball in your balls (that’s what a blocked duct feels like) and then punch it a few times so it’s good and bruised.  You call the doctor and explain the symptoms and they tell you to take a hot bath and firmly massage, yes MASSAGE your bruised balls.  Several times a day.

So you rub it out but nothing happens except an excessive amount of pain.  Then whoever it was that put the golf ball in your balls and then punched them comes and LIGHTS THEM ON FIRE.  You call the doctor.  They say more baths.  More massage.  Still nothing happens except you get a bit of carpal tunnel from all the massaging.

Then you get cold.  So cold.  You turn up the heat and ask everyone else if it’s just you or is it cold in here?  It’s just you, so you take (another) bath, as hot as your depleted hot water tank allows.  You sit there, your skin lobster red, shivering and shaking all over because you are freezing to death.  Within the half hour your body starts aching from its very core to the outermost hair.  You call for a prescription and drive yourself to the pharmacy.  Halfway there you realize this was a bad idea because even your EYEBALLS have gotten achy and you can’t really see straight anymore. 

You get to the pharmacy and by then you can barely walk.  By now your brain is starting to abandon your bruised, burning, aching, freezing body, but out of some primitive instinct to survives you somehow make it to the counter.  They tell you it will take another ten minutes to fill your prescription.  

You sink to the floor and wait for death to come.

Pot roast with potatoes and carrots

Me to V: We’re stopping at the store to pick up a pot roast
V:  You’re roasting pot for dinner?

During a game of throwing invisible objects at each other and shielding each other’s blows, Vincenzo really struck upon a powerful weapon when he yelled at me, “BLOCK YOUR DUCTS!”  Ouch.  I’m out.

[a the mall, Vincenzo hanging on Kevin who was pushing the stroller]
Kevin: Vincenzo—personal bubble.  Please.
Vincenzo: POP!  I popped your persona bubble!
[reinvasion of Kevin’s personal space]

I heart mastitis

(Yes, I’m still nursing—I know, I know, we’re working on weaning!)  (Hence the mastitis!)  I’ve got it again and apparently when I lie uselessly in bed instead of crawling around the floor saying, “Vvvvvvvv” for the baby and “Gok gok” for the boy it sends them both into fits, so Kevin took them out for the day.  I haven’t had a day like this since last August—the last time I got mastitis, as a matter of fact.  So I’m laying here in bed with my laptop and it’s a lot harder than it might seem.  In fact, it kind of sucks.  Like, am I supposed to actually choose between these boots I found online?







A-ha!  But with free shipping and free returns at www.endless.com and Nordstrom on-line I don’t have to choose!  It’s like they’re giving these boots away!

But not this boot.  This they’re definitely not giving away.  ($675.)  (Which makes me covet it even more!)  (FREE SHIPPING!)


I’m going to post a picture of a jacket I fell in love with and then I’m going to go buy it.  Sorry the image is so small.  You can see it bigger here.


Anyway, all this copying/pasting/typing in my credit card number has quite exhausted me.  I’m going to rest now. 

Just be glad you don’t have mastitis so you don’t have to suffer as I do.

Creamy penne with chicken with artichoke hearts
French onion soup
Chocolate peanut butter chip brownies

Girly boy

Vincenzo spent Wednesday night at Grammy’s so Rocco and I had 24 hours all to ourselves.  (Kevin?  Kevin who?)  After a long walk in the stroller yesterday I took Rocco to the park and shot off a whole roll of film.  (Does that have any meaning anymore?)


As I stood by the swings, flipping through the pictures on my camera and thinking how maybe I should get Rocco a haircut, a boy walked by and said, “I like your baby.  She crawls so fast!”


Oh well.  Rocco might need a haircut but at least she’s happy.



Kids. They say cute things.

1. Vincenzo, getting concerned listening to the side effects of a product during football commercials: “We don’t drink that, right, Mom?”  I assured him it wasn’t so no, he did not need to worry about erections lasting longer than six hours.  Thank you, Viagra.

2. V on volcanoes: Dad, do you know what lava is made of? 
Kevin: No…what?
V: Poisonous acid.

3. V on volcanoes II: Did you know that lava has killed 200 people in the whole world?

4. Rocco waves bye-bye to his dad every morning.  Awhile back he started waving bye-bye anytime he saw Kevin.  Then he took to waving bye-bye to photos he saw of him.  But I think he took it a little too far when this picture came up on the computer last week…


and Rocco waved bye-bye at it.  It’s sweet and kind of sad at the same time, isn’t it?  Here’s a link to a touching song written about a boy with a similar thing going on.

5.  Yesterday Vincenzo said, “Mom, I know that behind Earth is heaven, but what’s behind heaven?”  I told him I didn’t know—only God knows.  Then he started talking about how heaven is behind the clouds, so it seems like there has to be something behind heaven.  So I drew him a picture of the universe.

I think I know what it feels like to tell kids the truth about Santa.

Omelet-wrapped quesadillas
Sweet potatoes with orange, roasted walnuts, and toasted marshmallows

Dragon quest birthday

It was the sausagefest of kids’ birthdays this weekend: kids making shields, whacking people with swords, chasing dragons, throwing rocks, putting out dragon fires, punching people for trying to be in front of them in line, etc. etc.  I’ll post the prettier version later this week, but here’s the ugly version to tide you over.

After way over-prepping the party and running out of things to cut, glue, tape, or paint a week ago, I managed to find a few new projects to fill my extra time this week.  Like paint these signs:



…and making these Cheeto torches:


…and trying to make this disastrous start to a cake turn into something less disastrous.  The frosting was actually white; I just sweat so much blood during the decorating of it that it turned out kind of reddish.


I got made fun of by pretty much everyone for cutting about 100 baby carrots into dragon claws.*


BTW, has anyone seen my pointer finger around here?


As for the paper mache rocks, my sister used them to turn the fireplace into a dragon’s cave.  The kids stood there for quite a while, ooo’ing and aaaah’ing over them.  Or maybe they didn’t notice them at all.  Either way:



Anyway.  Fun was had.  Stay tuned.

Plum sandwiches with pesto, crispy onions, and blue cheese
Roasted red pepper and tomato soup
Steamed green beans


*The worst part about this is I forgot to take a picture of the carrot dragon claws at the party so I cut a whole bunch more the day after the party just to take a picture of them.  (If you don’t believe me, check out the level of the punch bowl.)  Can someone please medicate me now?