I’ll go stand in the corner now.

We discourage Vincenzo from using potty talk outside of telling us he needs to go to the bathroom or that he needs help wiping or that Rocco was left naked in the nursery, pooped on the floor, and is eating it. * That sort of thing.  He’s actually pretty good about not going to crazy with the poop and potty talk.  In fact, I’m beginning to realize it’s me and Kevin who need the lecture, as was made evident from this bout of pretend play last night.

CHARACTERS: RACHEL as DRAGON, an immature and despicable creature; KEVIN as FOOTBALL BEAR, an even more immature and despicable creature, and VINCENZO as HIMSELF, a child whose gets his kicks by handing each of his parents a stuffed animal and then sitting back.

SCENE: Vincenzo is wearing FOOTBALL BEAR’S helmet; FOOTBALL BEAR is looking for it; DRAGON is conspicuous by his absence

FB BEAR: Hey.  Has anyone seen my helmet?
VINCENZO: [Wearing helmet] No.
FB BEAR grabs helmet; struggle ensues; FB Bear reclaims helmet and puts it on head.
VINCENZO: [Angry, IRL]  HEY!  That’s not FAIR.  I was wearing that helmet.
DRAGON: Psst, hey Vincenzo.  You’ll never guess what I did this morning.
DRAGON: I POOPED in bear’s helmet!
VINCENZO washes hair
FB BEAR: I am hereby and henceforth changing all poop everywhere in the world into… FUDGE!
FB BEAR removes helmet and begins eating from it
VINCENZO: That looks yummy!
FB BEAR shares “fudge” with VINCENZO.  DRAGON excuses himself to make his own batch of fudge and returns, eating it.
FB BEAR: Hey Dragon, I heard what you did in my helmet.  You know what I think about it?
FB BEAR pees on dragon.
DRAGON: [Looks momentarily disgusted, then is struck by an ingenious thought] I’m hereby and henceforth changing all pee everywhere to…LEMONADE!
VINCENZO: Lemonade?  I love lemonade!
DRAGON: [holding out arm] Here, have a lick.  It’s really good!  Hey FB Bear, what do you think of that!
FB BEAR removes football pants, pees into cup.
FB BEAR: Lemonade for sale!  Get your fresh, warm lemonade here!  Lemonade for sale…


Miso-marinated salmon
Parmesan risotto
Salad with blue cheese, roasted walnuts, and cranberry vinaigrette
Fudge and lemonade

*I do not deserve to have kids.

4 thoughts on “I’ll go stand in the corner now.

  1. Can I send my boy over to play? I am feeling guilty that he enjoys his sisters old pink little people castle too much and the pink bike…and the crowns. Daddy gets back in March and I am thinking we need to MAN him up. From the sounds of it, you are all over that one.

  2. hey…..I can’t say I blame you guys for getting a little squirrly. I mean seriously…pretend play is hard work….and it makes my head want to explode. Kudos for you guys for making it interesting.

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