Bits and pieces

Here are just a few pieces of last week:


V: Guess what I saw today?
M: What?
V: A green bug.  Only it was blue.

2. Dad showed up to Rocco’s hair party and said of his wig, “I inhairited it from your mother.”


Vincenzo: Mom, wanna know a secret?
Me: Sure.  What?
Vincenzo: [whispering] I shot you and you’re dead.


4. My in-law’s neighbor called 911 and when the paramedics rushed to her door, this conversation ensued:

EM: Why did you call 911, ma’am?
Elderly neighbor: Because I’m in so much pain!
EM: How long have you been in pain?
Elderly neighbor: Ohhhh, about two months now…

5.  We had a bunch of kids over one day and afterwards I noticed a smoke alarm had *somehow* been knocked off the ceiling and was laying on the floor.  I asked Vincenzo if he knew who did it and he said yes.  I didn’t care who did it but thought it would be fun to have him describe him/her to me and I’d draw the culprit, police-profile style.  So everyone, please be on the look out for the Smoke Alarm Bandit, last seen wearing this darling sailboat shirt.  She shouldn’t be hard to miss.


One thought on “Bits and pieces

  1. That’s the same jerk who stole all my air-conditioning vents. I WONDERED how they got in and out of here so quickly.

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