Bits and pieces

Here are just a few pieces of last week:

1. 

V: Guess what I saw today?
M: What?
V: A green bug.  Only it was blue.

2. Dad showed up to Rocco’s hair party and said of his wig, “I inhairited it from your mother.”

3.

Vincenzo: Mom, wanna know a secret?
Me: Sure.  What?
Vincenzo: [whispering] I shot you and you’re dead.

 

4. My in-law’s neighbor called 911 and when the paramedics rushed to her door, this conversation ensued:

EM: Why did you call 911, ma’am?
Elderly neighbor: Because I’m in so much pain!
EM: How long have you been in pain?
Elderly neighbor: Ohhhh, about two months now…

5.  We had a bunch of kids over one day and afterwards I noticed a smoke alarm had *somehow* been knocked off the ceiling and was laying on the floor.  I asked Vincenzo if he knew who did it and he said yes.  I didn’t care who did it but thought it would be fun to have him describe him/her to me and I’d draw the culprit, police-profile style.  So everyone, please be on the look out for the Smoke Alarm Bandit, last seen wearing this darling sailboat shirt.  She shouldn’t be hard to miss.

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