A typical morning conversation:
Kevin: Vincenzo, your goatmeal is ready!
Vincenzo? You mean my oatmeal?
Kevin: Yeah. I was just kidding.
I hear you all groaning. But while we’re on the topic of food, I thought I’d give you a glimpse of what my son is actually eating while my husband and I have prosciutto wrapped figs stuffed with blue cheese and balsamic-marinated vegetable sandwiches with goat cheese and tequila-soaked sorbets.
This sandwich I like to call The Bachelor, as its only fillings are mustard and ketchup…and lots of ‘em!
Last week Vincenzo asked for some kind of snack that looks like two boats held together with peanut butter and a LifeSaver in the water. I know it was just a ploy to get an extra LifeSaver, but I felt for it, hook and line. Hee hee.
This is a regular on our menu, called Vite-a-Cake: a pancake with a dollop of whipped cream and a Flintstone vitamin on top. Again his idea, not mine. I have no idea why it appears the whipped cream is pooping on the pancake. ??
Have I posted this one before? These are all the ingredients for the Lunchwich—the sandwich that sustained my child for a good six months of his life. (My husband was even reduced to eating one in his lunch after making fun of a sandwich I crafted for him the day before.) Peanut butter, jelly, cheese, mustard, and pickle relish. It tastes even worse than it sounds, if you can believe it.
I know I’ve put the Waffoodle on before, but it’s always a fun one: waffle a la noodles, black cherries, and whipped cream
The last one is mostly fun just for its name: the Electicified Ice Cream Man [sic]. One scoop of rainbow sherbet, one scoop of lemon sorbet, and a sprinkling of lime peel.
Some of the other names Vincenzo has come up with for his food inventions include: The Punisher; The Too Tall Bunny Snack; Shooter to the Bang Bang; and Ting Tong Pudding. I have no idea how my son comes up with this stuff and frankly, we’re not even sure the kid has taste buds. I don’t think I’ll be sending any of these in to Family Fun magazine though.
WHAT’S COOKIN’ 2NITE:
I give up. What?!