PEWPEW you’re dead

We do a lot of what you might call rudimentary improv theater around our house.  I think I’ve shown you an example like this before (you should know that PEW is the sound a very powerful laser makes when shot at various people and things):

Me: Hey Vincenzo, do you want pancakes for breakfast?
Vincenzo: [pointing his finger at me] PEWPEWPEW!
M: Ha HA!  Blocked it with a pancake.
V: But it went through the pancake and got you.
M: But I was wearing my astronaut helmet so it bounced off.
V: Take off Mommy’s astronaut helmet.  PEWPEWPEWPEW!
M: Turn bullets into a nice warm shower.  [Start taking pretend shower]
V: Oh but the water’s so hot it burned you!
M: OWOWOWOWOW!  Turn water colder.
V: But the knob broke off!  The water’s getting hotter!
V: It was so hot it melted you into a puddle!
M: Pour Mom Puddle into glass.  Drink self.  Original Mommy restored.  PEWPEWPEWPEW!
V: Duck!  Dodge!
M: Would you like a pancake?
V: Deactivate Mommy.
M: BZZzzzoooooooooop
(etc. etc. etc.)

Vincenzo goes into one of his roid rages when we make one of our pretend PEWPEWPEWs go through all his defenses and actually get him.  It’s kind of funny because it’s all pretend and yet he gets SO PISSED about it.  Losing with grace is still something we’re working on.  If we don’t get it under control by high school then when he joins the drama club, the improv scenarios are going to look something like this:

Vincenzo to Unsuspecting Kid: Wanna do some improv?
Unsuspecting Kid: Sure.
V: Okay.  I’m a Jedi Knight with every weapon known to man, my skin is impenetrable, and I am indestructible and immortal.
UK: Okay, I’m a–
V: YOU are an ant.
UK: An ant?
V:  Yes, an ant with a very weak exoskeleton who is floating in the middle of the ocean.  Ready?  Okay, go.  PEWPEWPEWPEWPEW!  I shot you before you drowned!

I’m not sure if theater kids know how to beat people up, but I’m pretty sure they’re going to learn how to.  And quick.

It’s too hot to cook.  FINALLY!

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