So the other day I lifted Vincenzo out of the tub and set him near the dry towels while I went to nurse Rocco. The entire time I was nursing, Vincenzo whined and cried because he was wet and cold. I kept trying to walk him through the steps of drying himself off in a towel, to no avail. Crycrywhinewhinecry. By the time I made it down to help him he had air-dried so the towels were no longer an issue, but by then Vincenzo seemed to be sixty seconds away from actually starving to death. So hungry was he that he claimed he couldn’t even walk to the kitchen table and demanded I carry him.
Momma don’t play that.
Mean Mommy: You’re telling me you’re too weak to walk ten steps to the table for food.
Poor starving child:: Yeeeeeeeeeesssss.
MM: Even if there were a popsicle sitting at the table, you’d be too weak to get to it.
PSC: [considers] Yes. I’m too weeeeeeeheeeeeeeeak.
MM: [considers] Well let’s put that to the test. I’ll go put a popsicle at the table and we’ll see if you end up making it there to eat it before it melts. If you don’t make it, we’ll know you were that weak from hunger and from then on I will always carry you to the table whenever you’re too weak to walk. If you do make it to the table and eat the popsicle, we’ll know it was all just in your head.
About ten seconds later, Vincenzo was at the table chowing down his popsicle while his mother sat beside him, gloating.
A bit controversial? Perhaps.
WHAT’S COOKIN’ 2NITE:
Orange cream brownies