For those of you who didn’t attend my SIL’s wedding and hang out with our new friends, The Entire Blackhawk Team, I should tell you that my husband actually performed the ceremony. That’s right. On Friday night, my husband married his sister.
Previous to the wedding my SIL filled out all the paperwork to make Kevin a minister. Kevin said he was sitting at work one day when suddenly he felt a great light shining down upon his head and then an e-mail appeared in his in-box, proclaiming, “YOU HAVE BECOME A MEMBER OF THE PRESTIGIOUS CLERGY. You have earned a title worthy of admiration and respect.”
Some of the many, many titles that are now attached to my husband’s name include:
Doctor of Metaphysics
Master of Wicca
Kevin now introduces himself as Doctor, and since I have a master’s degree, we are now asking people to refer to us as “The Doctor and his Master.” Please follow suit.
Kevin also has the Internet seal of approval to refer to himself as Reverend, Minister, Healer, and/or Educator. He can perform marriages and baptisms and has the authority to start his own church.
God help us all.
The Universal Life Church that ordained Kevin leaves us with these parting words: St. John 15:16 states that God chose you, not the other way around. Your ordination is of God from before the foundation of the earth.
In a back-pat of reassurance, it then adds, “You are not required to believe this.”
So start your swooning, ladies. My husband is a Jedi Knight. Believe it.