Vincenzo say, Vincenzo do

1.  I had to put an end to Vincenzo’s pet-for-a-day thing when he asked me if I could help him find an aphid after breakfast.

2.  We call Vincenzo the Absentminded Professor.  He understands concepts like infinity and death but he can’t remember where one of his shoes is [in the neighbor’s yard—the neighbor who doesn’t have kids and doesn’t invite us in his yard]—or where he put his Bionicle [the one he’s holding in his hand as he asks me].  He is really starting to master the sheepish look, though.

3.  Vincenzo was listening to the radio explain the oil spill and it only took him about three seconds to think up a solution.  “Just take away the ocean!  All you need is to have President Obama* get about six thousand five million one people and they all get a bucket…”

4.  Vincenzo and his equally riotous buddy spent most of soccer practice squatting on the field this Saturday, picking flowers (like a couple of girls).  After practice they ran around the park shoving sticks down holes in various trees, saying they were poking puppies (like a couple of boys).  Then we told them it was time to go and you know what the flower children did?  They laid down on the lawn—no arguing or yelling or running away—just some very passive-aggressive lying down, not moving.  My friend muttered, “What is this, a 70s peace protest?!”

5.  I woke up on Friday and walked to the kitchen to see Vincenzo outside, peeing off the deck like it was how everyone starts their day.


*He thinks the president’s full name is Rocco Bama.

7 thoughts on “Vincenzo say, Vincenzo do

  1. Mike doesn’t tell me anything…so I’m sitting in bed laughing so hard I’m crying. And I’ve now got context to why Greyson said, on Memorial Day, ‘is it OK if I pee off the deck?’ 😉

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