Giving basketball the boot

QUICKIE: Thank you, Lizgizzy, for your comment yesterday that babies’ bottoms “create a channel that sends the poop in the wrong direction. It’s like a luge.”  My eyes are burning.
So I found myself a basketball team this spring, and it’s getting clearer with every game that I’m not in high school anymore.  Let me demonstrate through a series of Then vs. Now.

Then: I worried that I’d get really sweaty and the guy I was crushing on would notice.
Now: I worry that, after three vaginal deliveries, I might actually wet the court mid-game.

Then: I used to hike up my shorts to get noticed by aforementioned guy.
Now: I go to shoot a lay-up and my shorts that I unwittingly stretched out in my last pregnancy actually fall down to my ankles.

Then: I’d intentionally claw a couple of the opposing girls when we high fived at the end of the game.
Now: I “catch up” with the opposing girls at the end of the game then go home and friend them on Facebook.

Then: I’d dream of getting picked up by a college team.
Now: I dream of being young enough to dream about get picked up by a college team.

Then: I’d sprain my foot in the first quarter, stick some athletic tape on it, and keep playing.
Now: I sprain my foot, make my husband take two days off work and make my mom come over for two more days while I lay on the couch.  I spend the week going to doctors, getting X-rays, then an MRI, and am sentenced to wear the Black Boot of Shame for a month.


Take the boot off and I start gnawing on my ankle.

Pear and blue cheese pizza (it’s that good)

9 thoughts on “Giving basketball the boot

  1. Talk to Morrie about the “boot”. He had to wear one at our WEDDING. So rude.

  2. “time marches on…and soon you realize it’s marching right across your face…”

    Steel Magnolia’s…watch it.

    Seriously though, or it’s just marching right on top of us. Sorry about the foot. I had to wear one once, sprained my foot and ankle at the same time. Hope you aren’t in too much pain. And go sit outside with your leg propped up in the sun. If not it’s gonna be all pasty white. just a recommendation. (but not like from experience or anything.)

  3. How cute, you are even rocking the socks with sandals thing, like a real athlete!

  4. Funny…I LOVED basketball at St. B’s. I went on to play in high school and it just wasn’t the same. Get better soon!!!

  5. Thanks for calling out my comment yesterday and for correcting my spelling. I thought I would someday be able to say that I miss the blowouts, but they don’t go away, they just get harder to clean up.

    James had tummy problems a few months back, and had to be taken home early. His teacher did her best to clean him up, but when I got him home and started undressing him, I found poo inside his shoes and inside his socks.

    I’m sorry you sprained your ankle-work it for all its worth.

  6. Yikes, looks like a day at the office- hope you recover soon… you have heels to wear in a month!

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