Okay, other moms, have you seen this book yet?
This is a book you NEED to read…at least if you’re anything like me. It was written by two women who interviewed over 100 other moms to get the real, honest truth about motherhood. They begin the book with, “If you’re sitting down and reading this, then you must not be having the worst day ever. Or maybe you are.” It goes on to tell you such wisdoms as “A boner in the back is not foreplay.”
Each chapter includes a checklist or to, such as: “For you to feel like a good mom, which of the following do you need to do?” This particular checklist includes these options among others:
____Bake homemade cakes for each child’s birthday
____Raise your voice only if someone’s on fire
____Teach your children to swim, read, and tie their own shoes before kindergarten
The book is perfect for any mom who is competitive/comparative with other women. I will now admit to you that I am extremely competitive/comparative with other women. If I know you, I compete with you.
Not to worry—you always win.
Your kids are all independent swimmers who play floor hockey and take piano lessons on weeknights and they take ski lessons on the weekends. They hit the library every week where they check out books they can read on their own; they pick up their toys because it gives them great joy to do so; and they make cards to deliver to the elderly in nursing homes because they thought to do so all on their own.
As for you, you stay at home full time but also work full time and you are completely happy with both. You do your hair and make-up every morning; you plan romantic weekend getaways with your husband; and you give regularly to UNICEF.
But! Reading this book made me feel like I’m not the only loser out there.
That didn’t come out right.
*ahem* Reading this book made me feel like there is no competition. We all feel like a good mom sometimes and we all feel like a bad mom sometimes. And maybe with a bit of practice, we can feel like good moms more than we feel like bad moms.
As a disclaimer, the book gets kind condescending in places, especially if you really do love motherhood, but at least in those places I feel like I win.
In a completely noncompetitive, noncomparative way, of course.
And now, because I have not finished reading the book and being reformed yet, I am off to work on Rocco’s scrapbook while cooking dinner from scratch and signing Vincenzo up for soccer classes since we couldn’t find floor hockey classes.
WHAT’S FOR BREAKFAST: