And I couldn’t be happier for my friend who was never going to have kids lest she spawn a child who accidentally destroys the universe. (He may, but you have to admit we kind of deserve it.)
I hosted the baby shower last weekend—the best kind of baby shower where I bring all the mess to her house then leave her and her bulging-bellied, swollen-ankled, verge-of-puking self to clean it all up. The favors and decoration all came from a cute little store called Lovers, as it was a penis-themed shower since they’re having a boy. I tried to get Kevin to strip for entertainment but he’s trying to cut back on that kind of stuff. He said just bringing his own penis to the party was festive enough.
Party menu (because with me it’s always all about the food):
Salmon, leek, and dill quiche
Roasted red pepper, spinach, and feta quiche
Blue cheese and caramelized onion tart
Chicken skewers with cilantro-walnut topping
Pita triangles with garlic hummus
Crudites (because with me it’s always about making things sound fancier than they are)
Butterscotch cookies with browned butter frosting
Mocha hazelnut torte
Let me know if any of that sounds worth making and I’ll post the recipe! (To save you some time, I’ll tell you the mocha hazelnut torte was not a winner.)
I stepped out of my snarky shoes for two minutes to write McStreamy this card. I really am so excited for her and the mister.
I am going to try to write a card without being crass or inappropriate because the truth is there is this sweet, tiny, precious human being just inches away from this card, and he has no idea how much love is waiting for him on the other side of that belly. He is so lucky to be born into your family. He will be born needing nothing but love and nurturing, and you will be surprised to find you want nothing more in life than to love and nurture him. One day he will smile and you’ll realize you love him even more, which is crazy because you already loved him with more love than there is in the world. He’ll roll over for the first time and you’ll want to call everyone you know. He will laugh and you will do everything you can to hear that laugh over and over again. He will make you laugh without trying. Then one day he will make you laugh on purpose and you’ll realize your baby is gone, but it will be okay because you are still laughing.
Prepare to be blown away every day for the rest of your lives. You will not be able to imagine life before kids; it won’t even be worth imagining.
WHAT’S COOKIN ‘2NITE:
Spinach salad with strawberries and oranges
Garlic herb bread
Grand Marnier cake (from baptism)