Today’s post goes out to all of you who are checking your mailboxes every day in hopes MrsMouthy’s Christmas letter soon will be there.but finding instead totally useless things like your winning paycheck from Publisher’s Clearing House. I can’t imagine the pain and rejection you must be dealing with on a daily basis. So, out of the goodness of my heart and in spirit of Christmas, here’s my letter from this year.
Merry Christmas one and all! I want to start by clarifying that in the picture on the front of this card, Rocco is not smiling—he’s crying. And up until we bribed him with m&m’s, Vincenzo was whining, “Rocco’s punching me!” Kevin and I decided to opt for the artsy blurry-in-background look rather than actually take showers and groom ourselves. So now you know why the phrase “picture perfect” was really created—for families with small kids.
With Christmas coming there have been many opportunities to talk about God with Vincenzo. He got a bible from school and loves to listen to us read it, especially the part when Daddy says, “And on the seventh day, God invented rock ‘n roll.” We’ve been making sure to pray before every meal and bedtime, though I’m not sure Vincenzo gets it, as he often prays for “God, prayers, and BOM!” That’s the least of his problems, as he has recently begun calling Jesus “Beezus.” And then there was the day he pointed a pretend blaster to heaven and said something about how he just shot God…which I guess explains why he feels inclined to pray for God at dinnertime.
I feel rather sacrilegious writing all this, but I believe God must have a sense of humor (how else do you explain Kevin’s hair?), and as I have reached the bottom of this letter and have not yet been struck down, you have to agree with me—though you may want to give me a call upon receiving the letter, just to make sure.
So there it is: another Beto holiday letter that may have made you smile but did nothing to let you know whether or not Vincenzo can write his name yet (he can’t) or if Rocco’s sleeping through the night (he’s not) or if Kevin got a promotion this year (he did). Who needs details when you have one-liners? Happy holidays and may your year be filled with hugs, love, and your own one-liners.