Does Santa read blog posts?

Things I don’t feel funny enough to blog about, so here is a C- attempt:

1.  Gingerbread cookies


Brrrr.  I’m cold.


Hey, can one of you guys google “black tears”?


Has anyone seen my neck?

2.  Our Christmas lights.  I was going to take pictures and write this glorious post about how this year I got smart and decided to skip the whole climb-on-the-roof and use-a-ladder thing by simply hanging—taping, rather—the Christmas lights to our new deck in the back of the house.  Then I was going to be all braggy about how we our house was sporting the mullet of Christmas lights: business in the front, Christmas party in the back.

But then this happened.  Those little white things on the railing are pieces of tape.


And those colorful things on our lawn would be our Christmas lights.


I asked Kevin if he would help me put them back up and he suggested maybe I should use double-sided tape this time.  I suggested he maybe should go screw himself.

3.  I’ve had this metallic taste in my mouth for a few weeks now and when I *bing*d possible causes I decided it’s most likely a #5) iron deficiency, as I am usually anemic, so I started taking my iron-laden prenatal vitamins again but the metallic taste is still there, possibly because of likely cause #7) prenatal vitamins so now I’m wondering if maybe it’s something more like likely cause #2) cadmium poisoning because Kevin has taken a sudden interest in making me toddies each night and also because there’s absolutely no chance that it’s likely cause #8) hormonal because IF YOU DON’T GET THOSE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS HUNG UP BY DINNER TONIGHT I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL MAKE YOU CRY BLACK TEARS.  NOW GO MAKE ME MY EGGNOG RUM BUTTERSCOTCH WHATEVER THINGGY AGAIN.  AND DON’T SKIMP ON THE CADMIUM THIS TIME!

4.  I’m not sure whether I should confess to a priest, Ronnica, or Santa about that whole “swear to God” thing but it doesn’t matter.  I’m still not taking it out.

Things that taste like metal

4 thoughts on “Does Santa read blog posts?

  1. I love the possible reasons for the metallic taste, especially cause #8. Laughed out loud on that one 🙂 Merry Christmas!

  2. dude…taping your Christmas lights????? in the Pacific Norhtwest? seriously?????


    oh and thanks for the HUGE compliment over at my place. This 35 year old appreciates your kind words. ♥

  3. I just google*d that as well, and I found an avant garde solution for you. Take the METAL OUT of your mouth. Voila! Metal taste GONE.

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