I will not yell in class

I remember seeing this bag when I was a teacher.


I never understood what it meant until I was faced with the challenge of trying to teach my own four-year-old how to do…well how to do absolutely anything at all.  I have a freakin’ MASTER’S DEGREE in education!  I’ve been published in educational journals!  I used to teach TEACHERS in my spare time!  And now look:

“Vincenzo, look at all these scrambled up letters!  I think if you unscramble them you can spell your name with them!”


[After a few honest attempts at beginning his name with the letter “i” and with an all-due-respect suggestion from Mom to start with a “V”]:


“Ooooo, you got so many letters in the right place!  Look how smart you are!”  [Mom cautiously shows how to rearrange the middle letters, ready at any moment to be hit with a cactus ball]  “Okay, let’s see if you can unscramble them a second time.”


[Mom leaves to give child breathing room.  Returns to find this]:


[Mom once again wonders why her life reads as a cartoon strip.] Says aloud, “Oh wow!  Now you are [phonetic pronunciation of] ‘a8ViNcenZo3h’”  [Hysterical laughing]  [Not from Mom]

Later in the evening, when Grammy shows up, Mom says, “Grammy, Vincenzo has gotten very smart.  There are a bunch of letters here and he knows how to unscramble them to spell something…but we’re not going to tell you what it is!”  [Mom wink-winks at Vincenzo, then casually carries on conversation with Grammy about the merits of coriander in a feeble attempt to disperse the contents of her spice cupboard on other people]

Meanwhile, back at the magnetic board…


[More hysterical laughing]  [And also: the sound of hair being ripped out of someone’s own head]

Going out!!

2 thoughts on “I will not yell in class

  1. Your son reminds me of mine in SOO many ways. i LOVE that he stacked them.. pure comedic genious! But seriously I taught my kids to spell their name on the computer. just wrote their name down and they had to type it on ms word in big font or in purple what ever they wanted. They loved it and learned how to spell it quickly.

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