Kevin and I celebrated our six-year anniversary last weekend. We got married on 7-11 because my husband has this thing for Slurpees, so not only will he never forget the date but it is also always Free Slurpee Day on our anniversary. The specialness is built right in.
This year we spent the weekend in my college down of Bellingham, which is surrounded by ocean, mountains, and forests, and organic wholesomeness…which meant the only gas stations in town were attended by this type of duuuuuuude:
They probably don’t sell real gas and they definitely don’t sell real Slurpees. Bellinghammers would never go for a drink where the plastic straws come individually wrapped in plastic.
Bellingham is a town where you sit down for breakfast and the menu boasts, “Same day service!” Then you open it up to order a burger and this is the selection:
Like, where’s the beef?! You decide to steer a different direction and have brunch instead. The waitress asks, “Would you like 2% or soy with that?” You ask for skim, causing a major commotion in the kitchen and a meltdown in the town’s organic cookie factory.
As you finish eating, you notice a guy sitting alone at a table across from you, talking to himself. You tell your husband that if you were in an airport you’d be freaking out if that guy were at your boarding gate, and just as you finish whispering the guy invites you to sit with him. You do, because you’ve been married six years and have virtually nothing left to talk about. The guy begins mumbling in a Russian accent that neither of you understand. He orders coffee, tea, and wine for himself. During the next half hour you understand the words “grandma,” “Al Capone,” “communism,” and one full sentence: “Will you pay my bill?” You make some excuse about having to stop in at the store called The Hempest across the street, then you book over there and buy a pair of soda bottle recycled capris, just in case the KGB was listening.
It felt great to be back in “The ‘Ham,” though, even if there wasn’t a scrap of ultra-processed ham to be found. We’d rather laugh than make puppy-dog eyes at each other over dinner, anyway. Happy anniversary, Kev!
WHAT’S COOKIN ‘2NITE:
Biscuits with honey butter
Green beans with balsamic vinaigrette and shaved parmesan
Key lime something-or-other fancy French pastry (bought, not made)