The only personality test you need to take

QUICKIE: Me to Kevin: “I forgot to water the flowering currant and I think it died.”  Kevin: “So does that make it a ‘flowering past?’”
Renee over at MommyBlogYay took that Myers-Briggs personality test so I took it again too (it had been 15 years) and found I’ve changed from an ENFJ to an ESFJ.  The S stands for “sensitive,” and it comprises a mere 1% of my personality, so please come to me if you need some empathy and understanding but don’t expect too much because I’ll probably be busy judging you, as the J makes up a significantly larger portion of my personality.

Anyway, I feel the test itself asks the wrong questions.  Like, how do you answer these ones without writing explanations about which situations they apply and don’t apply to:

*You often do jobs in a hurry
(Okay, but name one mom who DOESN’T.)

*It is in your nature to assume responsibility
(It depends if assuming responsibility means fessing up to using the last square of toilet paper (then YES!) or if it means joining PETA and giving up aerosol hair products to assume responsibility for mankind (then NO!)

*You tend to rely on your experience rather than on theoretical alternatives
(Are we still talking about aerosol hair products?)

So since we all agree that the Myers-Briggs personality test has some apparent flaws and oversights, I came up with my own personality questionnaire.  Complete at your leisure and check the comments for my thorough analysis of your personality.  Please respond to the following statements with either “yes” or “no.”

1.  You have lost either your glasses, cell phone, or car keys within the past hour.

2. You sign up for lots of things, then complain endlessly about all the things you have to do, then you quit a bunch of things and complain because you never do anything.

3. You have the patience to cut out itty bitty chipboard letters using eyebrow scissors for a scrapbook page, but you don’t have the patience to clean the pink mold out of your bathroom tile.

4. You spend hours every week working out so that you have a rockin’ hot body, but wear only baggy, mismatched sweat suits.

5. When your son runs out of underwear, you do a load of laundry of just his underwear, even though there is a huge pile of dirty laundry that could have easily been thrown in at the same time.

6. If your spouse asks you to sew a button on his shirt, adding, “WOMAN!” you do so…and he goes to work the next day wearing a shirt with a hot pink piggy button on it.

7. You would enjoy political cartoons a lot more if they all made at least one reference to poop.

8. You worry often (quite often) about Yellowstone National Park exploding and exterminating all human life everywhere.

9. You always answer the phone on the first ring, provided no one else is at home, it’s not dinner time, it’s not an “unknown number,” you actually feel like talking, you didn’t accidentally leave it on “do not disturb” mode for the past three days, and you can find one of the three phones in your house before the caller gives up.

10. You feel the need to rewrite the answers of this personality test to more accurately analyze your life.

Someone else’s food…and it ends with homemade coconut avocado ice cream, so I’m super excited!

9 thoughts on “The only personality test you need to take

  1. If you answered “yes” to all but #5 (the dirty laundry one), then you are MrsMouthy. Good luck with that.

  2. If you answered number 5 with “yes,” then you are a male and I am probably married to you. Oh, and could you please pick up some rice vinegar on the way home? K thx bye.

  3. Ha ha ha!! This is great! Please tell me that Kevin didn’t notice the piggy button on his shirt.

  4. Turtle ice cream bars? Keiko, I will TOTALLY see you there.

    Okay, Rachel, I’ll play
    1. YES 2. Yes 3. No 4. No (no rockin’ hot body to cover) 5. Never. 6.Yes (though not nearly as specific as that, but I would if given the chance) 7. Who wouldn’t? 8. Yes, and add California falling into the ocean 9. No, I never answer my phone. Seriously. 10. A dejected yes

  5. Oh crapola. I’ve totally done the laundry one but have to admit to trying to protect the rest of the laundry from my son’s um, aromatic undies. Also, the Yellowstone thing? Totally thought I was the only one stressing about that. People are concerned with NKorean but it’s not going to matter when the volcano blows. Really, fear Mother Nature because if she is feeling anything like I’ve been feeling lately…she’s ready to blow.
    As for the rockin’ hot bod…yes, I am totally just covering it up (wink wink)

  6. Let’s see…

    1. No…if you said in the last week, the answer would still be no.

    2. No.

    3. No patience for either!

    4. This is a joke, right?

    5. N/A but I don’t think so.

    6. HA HA HA It’s probably a good thing I’m not married…

    7. Don’t they usually, anyway?

    8. Don’t know what to say about that one…

    9. Definitely not, though today I actually answered my phone twice and I didn’t know who was calling either time. Weird.

    10. Yeppers.

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