MrsMouthy gets Ranty

Casey, to answer your question from my last post:

Now that the weather has finally warmed up, Vincenzo and I head to the beach about every other day.  We’re loving it!  But not everyone, apparently, is.  Every once in awhile we run into a Hall Monitor Mom who is miserable there and her kids are miserable and people sitting within earshot of her are miserable.  I went into the trenches to reenact such an experience for you.


“Don’t splash, Aiden.  Aiden, stop splashing.  DON’T get wet.  Aiden, put that rock down.  If you don’t put that rock down right now you’re coming out.  Do you want your pizza?  Come eat your pizza.  NO SPLASHING!  Now sit here and eat your pizza.  Stop standing up.  You have to sit here and eat your whole piece of pizza.  Where are you going?  Aiden, don’t climb that rock.  What?  I don’t care if that little boy is climbing a rock and his mom is RIGHT THERE not saying anything; you’re not climbing that rock.  Do you want the rest of your pizza?  Aren’t you hungry?  Come over here and eat your pizza now.  Take smaller steps!  You’re splashing!  I said no splashing!  I’m not going to hold this piece of pizza for you all day…”

I condensed the dialogue for you, as it actually stretched over half an hour and all her kid said the entire time was “…”.  I nearly bit my tongue off trying not to suggest she pack up camp and head to an art museum instead.  Or military camp.

That mom might as well have taken her kids to a nude beach covered in a layer of hypodermic needles and toxic mold.  Seriously, people, why would you take your child to a beach loaded with kids swimming, splashing, throwing and climbing rocks, if you felt that these activities were invented by the devil himself?

Breaded sole
Pasta with pesto and peas
Rhubarb and goat cheese salad

4 thoughts on “MrsMouthy gets Ranty

  1. ummmmm yeah… about NO fun for anyone. I don’t get it. Maybe she could have gotten off her butt and actually played with him, and showed him what he COULD do. ugh….

    have a great weekend.

  2. I run into this mom at least 3 times a week and it takes almost more will power than I possess not to shake her. She seems to do a lot of talking to herself also and looking around at other moms like they’re going to back her up – “GAWD – don’t you just LOVE toddlers?” Ugh. I just try to smile at her child a lot and talk in calm voices to let the poor little one know that they exist.

    Thanks for the clarification on the top – very cute! So, seriously, let’s get a date on the calendar and DO IT already. I want to touch your bump!

  3. Oh dear. Sadly, I have moments when I feel like the hall monitor mom. But hopefully I’m not really her. ‘Cause she sounds dreadful!

  4. The best is that these moms grow up and become grandmas who let their grandkids get away with murder, and then tell their own kids they’re being too rough on the little ones. I’m so not telling you HOW I know that’s what happens, because I think my mom would disown me.

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