What would Octomom think?

QUICKIE: Me to V: “Tomorrow is a Haylee day and an Abby day and an Ian day and a Grammy day.”  V: “Then tomorrow is my lucky day!!”
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Ever since I’ve been with Kevin the world has become a stranger and stranger place for me.  I used to think a surprise, for example, was a vase of flowers randomly showing up on your doorstep.  Now I know that a surprise is merely a fart with a lump in it.  I used to correct people when they typed “teh” or “whut” or “injekshuns,” but now I understand they are simply typing in LOLspeak.  I now know that “dropping the kids off at the pool” involves neither kids nor pools, but does involve the bathroom fan and a magazine.  I call people jibrones. 

Last night Kevin opened my eyes once again as we were watching a hockey game on TV.  The fans all threw their hats on the ice after some guy from some random, non-important team playing some random, non-important game scored a goal.  Kevin told me that if the game were in Detroit, people would be throwing octopuses on the ice.  I totally didn’t believe him.  Really?  Really?  Does everyone already know this?  Please tell me I’m not the last person in America to learn that after that National Anthem or after a goal is scored in Detroit the ice is suddenly littered with octopus bodies.

Wikipedia has this to say about octopus-throwing etiquette: 

It is never acceptable to aim for opposing players. Beforehand, octopuses are usually boiled to reduce the amount of “slime” coating and facilitate the time it takes to clean up the ice and prevent further delay. Since Joe Louis Arena does not condone the throwing of any foreign objects onto the ice, fans often sneak the sea creatures in wrapped around their bellies in trash bags.

Hm.  I used to think all those people at Detroit hockey games were fat.  Now I know they’re all just a bunch of octopus-throwing jibrones.

Oh, and in case you were wondering:

Al Sobotka [was] the man responsible for removing the thrown creatures from the ice. He [was] known for swinging the tossed octopuses above his head when walking off the ice…Zamboni drivers [are therefore forbidden] from cleaning up any octopuses thrown onto the ice…because “matter flies off the octopus and gets on the ice” when Al Sobotka does it.

WHAT’S COOKIN’ 2NITE:
Feta and cheddar omelet
Pan-fried hashbrowns

9 thoughts on “What would Octomom think?

  1. I know about hat-tricks, but I had never heard of the octopus thing. Good thing you told me, because if my husband had mentioned it, I would have never believed him.

  2. LOVE your blog! But around my house we call those lumpy surprises SHARTS! Thanks for the AWESOME piece of octo info! I just love to pull random facts outta my pocket when ever I have an “OH YEAH? WELL DID YOU KNOW” moment!

  3. heck yeah! I would love a translation.. i am from Cali and know very little espanol! I figured out about 1/2 of it.

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