Switching cable companies

QUICKIE: Vincenzo, out of the blue yesterday: “Daddy, would you like a little rub from Mommy?”
I consider myself a well-educated and fairly smart person.  I know a lot about a lot of things.  Ask me to recite Maslow’s hierarchy of needs: no problem.  Want me to conjugate “You stink” into the pluperfect tense in Spanish and I’m there.  Want to know the difference between a roux and a bechamel sauce?  I’m your girl.

But ask me where the cable card is or where the cable jack is or if the downstairs TV even has cable and the most response you might get out of me is a string of drool.  As the two installers walked around my basement looking for a cable jack I decided it would be polite to help them.  So I nosed behind couches and the piano until I finally had the nerve to ask, “And how will I know if I’ve found what we’re looking for?”  I hadn’t felt so dumb since the time in high school when a cop pulled me over for a burnt out taillight and I asked sweetly, “Can you show me which ones are the taillights?”

The good news is the guys figured it out on their own and we can now watch channel 1,951 in the comfort of our own home.  It’s tough; channels 1,717 and 996 are also so good!

I’m wondering: is it harder or easier to be famous in today’s world, when there are approximately 1,951 separate shows playing on TV at any given moment?  By sheer statistics, I’ve probably already been on TV a handful of times without even knowing it.  It’s funny, though; I don’t feel famous…

11 thoughts on “Switching cable companies

  1. I’m amazed that I haven’t known anyone on reality tv yet. Although, I’m sure it is just a matter of time that some of my former classmates show up on the hot mess show, Rock of Love.

  2. I love that you asked the cop that! I did the same thing when I got pulled over for not stopping at a stop sign. I asked him to show me which sign because I swore I stopped at them all.

  3. Just to let you know, channels 996-infinity, will never have anything good on….you think so now, but its true my friend. Ugh.

    Also not smart here either… Guy sold me a bulb for my headlight at Autozone. He handed it to me and I just looked at him…and then I said..well, where do I put it? He laughed. For a good minute. Then he said, “your good, really.” I think he thought I was trying to play him so he’d put it in. But I wasnt…it was funny looking i didnt know how to put it in! So he did. And there was light. On both sides. haha

  4. You’re hilarious. I know, I’ve probably said it before, but you really are funny. You’re posts are so clever.
    I had to find out what a cable jack looked like the hard way too.

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