Pretend this is your life

QUICKIE: Me: “Vincenzo, Aunt Wendy’s on the phone.” V: “But I ran out of words!”
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Vincenzo’s imagination is rather out of control lately.  It’s beginning to take on the properties of a black hole in that it grows exponentially each day and is beginning to suck more and more things into it.  I suggest you all find a flagpole or something, establish a firm grip, and don’t let go until the end of this post.

Exhibit A: We pulled out this basketball hoop last week.  Vincenzo took one shot before deciding it was a machine at Chuck E Cheese and he was going to sit inside it and be the ticket man (you know–just like the ticket man they have in each of the machines at Chuck E Cheese).  Kevin and I were told to be “little boys” and shoot hoops while Vincenzo dispensed ticket after ticket.  We’ve got about 200 tickets each.  100 more and we can buy a Tootsie Roll!

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Exhibit B: Vincenzo likes to have sword fights with Kevin.  He pretends they’re inside a video game and I’m the controller.  Then he tells me what to make them do.  I keep telling him it would be easier to just take the controller himself but he insists this is how the game should be played.  I’m not complaining, but would any of you have bough Super Mario Brothers if Mario shouted out things like, “Straight!” and “Jump!” and refused to move unless you did exactly as he told you?  And there was risk of physical harm if you didn’t?

Exhibit C: With his best friend, Abby, gone for the holidays, Vincenzo called me “pretend Abby” for a couple days until he dropped the “pretend.”  I am now simply “Abby.”  He himself has spent a few days being Abby’s Daddy.  Do you know how creepy it is to call your 3-year-old son “Daddy?”  Try it.  Try saying, “Daddy, we need to take your diaper off and put your tricycle away.”  Anyway, they other day we were playing Abby and Abby’s Daddy when Kevin pulled in the driveway.  “Look Abby!” Vincenzo squealed, “Mom’s home!”

And the only thing creepier than calling your toddler “Daddy” is calling your husband “Mom.”

7 thoughts on “Pretend this is your life

  1. Okay…if I had been drinking milk I would have snorted it out my nose at the “tootsie roll” comment. LOL hysterical. I just survived my first trip to Chuck E cheeses last week, so this really hit home for me. thanks!

  2. hahahaha, seriously you make me laugh everytime! That is one imaginative kid…and I imagine calling him daddy would be pretty odd hahahahaha

  3. I don’t have to pretend this is my life. This really is my life! But when it’s happened daily for long enough, it just starts feeling normal, like everybody’s life must be like this. And isn’t that a scary thought? 😛

    Also: I loved the tootsie roll comment!

  4. Totally hilarious! Laughed out Loud! Vincenzo is such a funny kid!

    I was debating whether I should actually admit this but in your contest below, when I read the classes, when I read ¨Excel as a Pedestrian¨, I was thinking of Microsoft Excel and was like, duh, that one can´t be it…that doesn´t even make sense! Obviously I spend too much time using that program. Kevin, I thought you might appreciate that your company´s products made me forget the English language. 😉

  5. I love his sense of humor, but I can imagine how it could be weird at times. I think that I purposely wouldn’t do what he wants (especially with the video game one) just to bug him!

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