Kevin the Great

QUICKIE: Vincenzo: “I’m going to poop, Daddy, and then you will poop after me.  We can take turns pooping!”
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So I walked in on Kevin reading this book last month.

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You probably can’t see the blurb that reads “Sassy, witty, reassuring and great fun.”  I wasn’t sure what to think about my 6’1, 210 pound, former “professional wrestler” of a husband.  Then this showed up in the bathroom.

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At first I was offended he thought I needed hair removal help, so I confronted Kevin.  His voice cracked slightly when he told me he bought it for himself for some “manscaping.”  But I’m pretty sure any box that has this picture on it falls far, far outside the realm of manscaping.

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Just before I started to get concerned about my husband’s morphing identity and/or sexuality, this note appeared on the refrigerator (BG stands for “Baby Girl”):

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He’s asking me to help him with the laundry?  Why, this must mean he started a load all by himself!  Without being asked!  Without having to interpret my moody, irritable behavior as a hint that I have too much laundry to do so he should get off his lazy bum and do some himself!

So I’ll let him keep his female brain book and his Nads and his newfound sense of house-husbandry.  But Kevin, if you’re reading this, keep your paws OFF my feminine hygiene products.  You don’t know the first thing about Toxic Shock Syndrome.

11 thoughts on “Kevin the Great

  1. I can’t decide if the laundry note borders on passive aggressive or not. He might be further along than you thought.

  2. The “Female Brain” book turned out to not be so much of a book but rather a pamphlet.

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