Oh Santa, you shouldn’t have!

QUICKIE: K to V: “I’m going to yoga now.”  V: “Okay.  I hope there aren’t any robots there!”
Sorry it’s been awhile since I posted.  I’ve been too busy taking egg nog baths to blog this week.  (What else are you going to do with all the leftover nog?)

We had decided to be low-key on Christmas gifts this year since Vincenzo already has two of EVERYTHING.  Then at the last minute I decided I wanted him to wake up and see a big bean bag underneath the tree.  We found one no problem but try as we might we couldn’t find any filler.  So on Christmas morn’, when little Vincenzo rubbed the sleep out of his eyes to see a  piece of red cloth crumpled underneath the tree, JUST FOR HIM!!, he was notably less excited than his parents were.  When people asked him what Santa brought for Christmas later that day, he just said, “A candy cane.”

As for Kevin, after the Miracle Fruit fiasco I decided I better get a backup present.  And what would please my husband more than a swimsuit calendar for his office?  Better yet, a swimsuit calendar of ME?!  But, as I don’t own 12 swimsuits, nor access to a non snow-covered beach, I found a calendar that featured 12 girls whose bodies were uncannily similar to mine.  (It was hard to find as I am so much skinnier and my boobs are so much bigger than most swimsuit models’.)  I taped pictures of my own face atop each one.  Kevin loved it but made me add clothes because apparently hanging up a calendar of your wife in the office is not politically correct these days.  Here are a couple samples:




(It’s a pickle.)

And me?  I got a cheese grater and a set of sheets.  I’d write more, but my emotions are still sorting themselves out.

How about you?  What Christmas joys made your hearts aglow this holiday season?

9 thoughts on “Oh Santa, you shouldn’t have!

  1. hahahahahaha I LOVE IT! that is too funny! Have you ever heard of the Love Sac??? Its the BEST bean bag EVER! And they are HUGE! And I would really love one. But alas, they are expensive. And they would have been better single. When I was single it was the “cuddle” sac…as we are all mormon, and there was no “love” to be made in that particular sac. Maybe when I have a house….and a husband. *sigh*

  2. Well played Rachel. But February is just not right. LOL
    For us, Santa is not on my nice list this year as apparently when he squeezed down my chimney he knocked out the ignitor in our furnace leaving us to wake up to a frigid house. Joke’s on him though. The cookies we left him weren’t the delicious ones that I made but the personally made sugar cookies from my neice and nephew – who are both sick right now and both pick their noses a lot. Take that Santa.

  3. I’m just glad she didn’t use glue to put the clothes on the calendar. It makes the calendar even more special for me when I can retape the clothes scattered all over the ground.

    Mrs. de Miranda: Love Sacs are for amateurs. Real sac furniture connoisseurs shop with Robb at http://www.pillowfurniture.com/. I’m sure Mrs. Mouthy can write a great blog post about that experience some time.

  4. Ha ha – I heard about the calendar from your in-laws! Hilarious!

    We weren’t supposed to be doing presents this year, but my husband as usual ignored me and got me a Christmas/Baby/Anniversary ring instead. I guess I can’t complain… 😀

  5. Casey: But my hair looks so good in February!

    Kevin & Mrs. DeM: I REFUSE to blog about the abominable pillow couch that my husband tricked me with. It doesn’t deserve any form of publicity at all.

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